It strikes me, in a nagging sort of way, just how inadequately we express ourselves. In writing, we are limited by what we can say at the time (as the brain runs at one speed but the fingers move at another, much slower speed) and may write multiple paragraphs to get across one point that gets expanded out. How often can we really appreciate that we've said every single thing that could be explored, thought and output on any one matter? Try never.
Take for instance that first paragraph you just read. There are countless ways that I could have expressed my thoughts and a limitless number of things I could have said to try and express just what I wanted to convey. But no matter how well you word something or how adequately you are able to express yourself, there will always be aspects left unsaid - simply because it is impossible to get out there all that is in here.
With that said, I have recently been thinking about God speaking to me, the way that my life is sorting itself out and so many many other things related to this that it would be impossible to list them all, let alone express them in any understandable way. So, my thoughts are my own and I continue to explore entire dialogues, discussions and various outworkings of my thoughts within my own head. Strange? Insane? Well, with this awakening once more of my unique thinking and the fact that I am now, finally, feeding my brain once more, I just can't keep up with myself! No wonder I have a headache... :(
Imagine that I've just talked about being centred, content and am in a lull, as such, whilst maintaining consistent emotions, seamless and complete thoughts on every issue, aspect and entity pertaining to life and all it involves - and you'll scratch the surface of understanding where I am at right now. Ten seconds from now it will be different ^L^
It's not frustration, as such, so much as it's knowing that a lot of thoughts feel as if they are wasted. If I could write down all that came into my head I would - but I will have to be content with saying what is said and expressing what is expressed. No point stressing over imperfections, incoherency and incomplete thoughts. I am where I am and I am saying what I am saying; I think what I think - and so the endless cycle of where, what, how, this, that, then, now: it all spins madly around, each particle bouncing off another that is both like it and unlike it in so very many ways...
Balance. I guess all you can do is your best in finding the balance in any thought, any situation and, in fact, in anything at all. I could drive myself mad with frustration, but instead it's much more calming and, indeed, much happier to just accept that it is and it will be even though it could be and could have been otherwise.
God speaks: we listen but don't always hear. He shows: we look but don't always see. He directs: we step but don't always progress. He guides: we follow but don't always stay close. He asks: we do but not always in the way that He would want us to - but what does it matter? God gave us choice and so how we do things - so long as we know that it is in His strength and not our own; in His wisdom and not our own; and with His blessing - comes down to us. You. Me. Them. We were made in the image of God and it is with gratitude that we receive His peace, mercy and grace in all things.
Coherency? Is there ever? Thoughts are like bullets: sometimes they hit their mark but they always hit something; sometimes they cause damage and sometimes they ricochet once, twice, three times before making an impact; there is power behind them, they move forward and they move faster than we can blink.
I'd have failed in my own strength. That which comes from the Creator is far greater than my foolish mind can comprehend and the power that he imparts to overcome is perfect. The Holy Spirit does so much more than comfort, prompt, convict, and encourage. More than can truly be appreciated or grasped from our inadequate human stance. God loves me. I love God.
Just be.
-Timotheos
ps. The title is a reference to a Strong Bad email where his brain was so shot with thinking that he said the first thing he could think of: beef... stew. It's a good euphemism for expressing your inability to express adequately. Since there are currently over 120 SBemails I couldn't find the right one. Sorry.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
A Bit Simpler
Horses. For many centuries, these equestrian mammals were used as a form of transport. After reading a number of high fantasy books, I came to realise that the authors knew more about horses than the fact that they were ridden mostly by nobles and that the saddle had to be securely tied to make sure that the effectiveness of riding wasn't compromised in any way.
http://www.horses.co.uk
This led me to think that a lot of research would go into increasing a broad working knowledge of the most common familiar elements that appear in works of historical fiction: ships, horses, carriages, noble houses, kingdoms, the sea, etc. When you create a world, there are certain common traits that, as they play their part, must be described both in detail and with accuracy. (When it comes to politics, economy, religion, etc. people tend to build their own aspects according to the workings of the particular world and its setting - but understanding such things from history really helps to add credibility to the story overall).
The most renowned authors, I have noticed, are able to describe the workings of a ship as it sails through a storm; how far a band of five travellers can travel over rough terrain in one day; the effects of physics and nature and emotion - all of these play a part in building and describing a world that thrives; a world that lives.
Writing fiction isn't just a matter of making everything up and making sure that it sounds good and that you have a cool plot. There is a lot to understand - which would explain why a lot of bestselling authors make their mark after the age of thirty (the passing of youth...); they have had time to build their knowledge and understanding of the workings of this world and are able to use what they have learned and discovered in building a believable, new world. Because even though that world may not exist, it must follow certain rules; if it didn't, then how could they expect any reader to truly become immersed and get caught up in the story as it progressed?
Character profiles, a solid plot, specific events (major, minor), a believable world - all of these are important in spinning a worthwhile and exciting tale. It takes many patterns of thought to create a world that adheres to certain functions while overlooking other, perhaps more realistic, ones. Physics can be bent in a fantasy universe - but some things will always be taken for granted, unless stated otherwise. This is why it is highly important to know what you are talking about!
I remember reading somewhere, a few years ago, something that David Eddings said. It mentioned walking for 15 miles and then seeing how much your feet hurt; or not bathing for three days and seeing how much you smelt. Experiencing some things that characters go through would be downright disturbing - but understanding where everyone is at, what they are thinking, how they would react in any situation, how a journey affects them, etc. All of these are things that a writer must take into account if the story, taking on a life of its own, is to be one that will live past the author's over-enthusiastic whims.
Believability; accurate expression; familiar elements.
Just a few more things to contemplate ^L^
-Timotheos
http://www.horses.co.uk
This led me to think that a lot of research would go into increasing a broad working knowledge of the most common familiar elements that appear in works of historical fiction: ships, horses, carriages, noble houses, kingdoms, the sea, etc. When you create a world, there are certain common traits that, as they play their part, must be described both in detail and with accuracy. (When it comes to politics, economy, religion, etc. people tend to build their own aspects according to the workings of the particular world and its setting - but understanding such things from history really helps to add credibility to the story overall).
The most renowned authors, I have noticed, are able to describe the workings of a ship as it sails through a storm; how far a band of five travellers can travel over rough terrain in one day; the effects of physics and nature and emotion - all of these play a part in building and describing a world that thrives; a world that lives.
Writing fiction isn't just a matter of making everything up and making sure that it sounds good and that you have a cool plot. There is a lot to understand - which would explain why a lot of bestselling authors make their mark after the age of thirty (the passing of youth...); they have had time to build their knowledge and understanding of the workings of this world and are able to use what they have learned and discovered in building a believable, new world. Because even though that world may not exist, it must follow certain rules; if it didn't, then how could they expect any reader to truly become immersed and get caught up in the story as it progressed?
Character profiles, a solid plot, specific events (major, minor), a believable world - all of these are important in spinning a worthwhile and exciting tale. It takes many patterns of thought to create a world that adheres to certain functions while overlooking other, perhaps more realistic, ones. Physics can be bent in a fantasy universe - but some things will always be taken for granted, unless stated otherwise. This is why it is highly important to know what you are talking about!
I remember reading somewhere, a few years ago, something that David Eddings said. It mentioned walking for 15 miles and then seeing how much your feet hurt; or not bathing for three days and seeing how much you smelt. Experiencing some things that characters go through would be downright disturbing - but understanding where everyone is at, what they are thinking, how they would react in any situation, how a journey affects them, etc. All of these are things that a writer must take into account if the story, taking on a life of its own, is to be one that will live past the author's over-enthusiastic whims.
Believability; accurate expression; familiar elements.
Just a few more things to contemplate ^L^
-Timotheos
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Euca-lip-tus
So a koala walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. After finishing it to the last bite, he jumps off the stool, pulls out a revolver and proceeds to shoot the pianist before nonchalantly walking toward the door.
"Oi!" cries the bartender. "Why'd you shoot my pianist?!"
The Koala glances over his shoulder and says, "I'm a koala. Look it up." He then walks out the door.
Well, as all bartenders have a dictionary sitting on a shelf behind their bar, the bartender reaches up and takes down his trusty Oxford English Dictionary, flipping to "koala". He reads: "Koala. n. An Australian marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."
Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because he was dead.
Q. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
A. He was holding onto the first koala.
Q. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
A. He thought it was a game and decided to join in.
Q. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?
A. Three of his friends had left and he felt lonely.
Q. Why did the cowboy fall off his horse?
A. He was hit by four falling koalas.
Q. Why did the cowboy fall out of the tree?
A. Because he was dead.
Q. Why did the second cowboy fall out of the tree?
A. He was holding onto the first cowboy (not like that...).
Q. Why did the third cowboy fall out of the tree?
A. He thought it was a game and decided to join in.
Q. Why did the fourth cowboy fall out of the tree?
A. Three of his friends had left and he felt lonely.
Q. Why did the koala fall off his bike?
A. His feet couldn't reach the pedals.
XD
-Timotheos
"Oi!" cries the bartender. "Why'd you shoot my pianist?!"
The Koala glances over his shoulder and says, "I'm a koala. Look it up." He then walks out the door.
Well, as all bartenders have a dictionary sitting on a shelf behind their bar, the bartender reaches up and takes down his trusty Oxford English Dictionary, flipping to "koala". He reads: "Koala. n. An Australian marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."
Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because he was dead.
Q. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
A. He was holding onto the first koala.
Q. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?
A. He thought it was a game and decided to join in.
Q. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?
A. Three of his friends had left and he felt lonely.
Q. Why did the cowboy fall off his horse?
A. He was hit by four falling koalas.
Q. Why did the cowboy fall out of the tree?
A. Because he was dead.
Q. Why did the second cowboy fall out of the tree?
A. He was holding onto the first cowboy (not like that...).
Q. Why did the third cowboy fall out of the tree?
A. He thought it was a game and decided to join in.
Q. Why did the fourth cowboy fall out of the tree?
A. Three of his friends had left and he felt lonely.
Q. Why did the koala fall off his bike?
A. His feet couldn't reach the pedals.
XD
-Timotheos
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Fact or Fiction
Christian allegory doesn't show a recalcitrant lack of imagination. It takes inspiration to substitute gospel elements for relevant story entities and strong ideas to express salvation issues through a tale of might and magic. Still, I would rather construct an assemblage that didn't obviously run parallel to the message of the Christian faith. Fantasy can encompass Christian belief but it doesn't have to be simply an allegorical representation from creation through armageddon. The message can still be expressed without pure parallels and substitutes; a story still told that doesn't diverge from Christian ideals and our overall worldview of truth and life.
Absolute truth, morals and an existential creator as a part of a fantasy world do not immediately coin it a Christian allegory. There are certain aspects that, in my beliefs as a Christian writer, are wholly adhered to; while there are some instances, actions and settings that are avoided, purely because they are an unnecessary (moral) hindrance to the exciting tale being told and do not give more credence or add to the story as an influencing whole.
I can cite Christian moral loci and develop characters who fit into the regime of Christian bounds - the story itself will reflect unavoidable elements of Christian belief. It may not be a parable with the express purpose of suggesting salvation and the need for redemption, but within the framework of God the Creator, an eternal destiny and overcoming temptation and sin that ultimately leads to death and separation from God: a Christian faery-tale indeed is possible, without the obvious mark of theological inditement.
Perhaps literature is no longer as provocative and remonstrative as it once was. What is being bred now - and what we have become accustomed to - are less paper-based, more electronic-based media, through which much discussion is produced and different trains of thought are encouraged. Where we stand - and where we are going, ever so quickly it seems - is upon the prow of a vessel where rotting bookshelves sink further beneath the turbid waters and a myriad of plasma tv's invade our horizon. Destination: change. Is this the transition period?
It's a real pity that in this secular world, so much, if not all of public television is consumed with immorality. The Christian message is not there, nor is an absolute truth proclaimed in any form. As seasons cycle past, every programme degenerates and begins to step into questionable territory. I feel that this is just another of the enemy's games. Interest is sparked and you follow along; then, before you know it, an episode is dropped in that defies logic: moral bounds are surpassed and it spoils the programme itself for you, the believer, because you are then faced with a moral dilemma: to continue watching and hope that the series doesn't ever-so-subtly sprout more seeds of bankruptcy or to scratch off yet another captivating story because the path it is now taking cannot be overlooked.
Certain elements in the entertainment industry are simply a no-go. Wouldn't it be better if we capitalised on the current scheme of things - when it comes to media - and gave to society something that never strayed from within moral constraints; things such as forgiveness, honesty and real love, without the need for spite, deceit and pre-marital sex? There are so many genres that are swallowed up by impiety and the giants of the Western world - couldn't we produce quality television of the same calibre as our pagan neighbours and show what we should be truly capable of?
We live in different times. Last century, many technological advances were made - this current generation lacks willpower, morality, self-sacrifice, and even intelligence. Children are not encouraged to improve their logic and reasoning but instead are indoctrinated more and more with lies. Everything we see and hear is filtered through our environment. If that environment is not one of morality and truth, then people are not even encouraged to question their worldview itself.
Apathy and acceptance of false image are two of the biggest hurdles in reaching a tilting generation. What worked ten years ago is not likely to be of interest to those at the same stage in their lives now. As life progresses and we change to adapt ourselves to where we are, it makes the most sense not to push away what is there to utilise but to embrace it and use it for the purposes it should be used for.
God is the one who created us. It stands to reason that in all of our creativity we shouldn't view Christianity as a minority from the 20th Century but a driving force of this current decade, year, month, and even day. I don't profess to be "up with the play" but we all have a calling; our destiny cannot be fulfilled if we are not exercising the gifts that we have been given. We can't slow down time or prevent secular changes from happening. We can move forward in this wonderful world that we've been given and show people that there is more to life than expectation of temporary fulfilment.
I can't stress how important it is that Christians be not the nay-sayers, but the pioneers and entrepreneurs of the now. We hold the only truth. We are the only faith who have real liberty - freedom from unseen bondage that ensnares us from birth. We should be setting the standard and releasing grace, mercy and love in every form of enjoyment, insight and teaching. Many great men and women of the past who paved the way for our current technological exploits received inspiration from on High. Where are the Christian tv programmes that captivate thousands of people in every city? Where are the Christian movies that are nominated for worldwide recognition awards? Where are the Christian books that are in the world bestsellers' list?
It's not a matter of condemning such illusion and trickery that has beguiled even the most dedicated believer - it is about recognising what is right, what is obedient to God, what gives him glory - and presenting that to the world to replace such desensitising exploitative material that is in so much heartbreaking abundance. You can't expect to pump effluence out of the hole without replacing it with clean water.
If we were to give to the world Christian alternatives that were both captivating and relevant in every way - think how people's attitudes would change. Think how more open to the truth people would be. Think how much more health and life people would have. Think how much more like the One in whose image we are created we could become. Because life does have a purpose - how are we bringing this hope to our world?
-Timotheos
Absolute truth, morals and an existential creator as a part of a fantasy world do not immediately coin it a Christian allegory. There are certain aspects that, in my beliefs as a Christian writer, are wholly adhered to; while there are some instances, actions and settings that are avoided, purely because they are an unnecessary (moral) hindrance to the exciting tale being told and do not give more credence or add to the story as an influencing whole.
I can cite Christian moral loci and develop characters who fit into the regime of Christian bounds - the story itself will reflect unavoidable elements of Christian belief. It may not be a parable with the express purpose of suggesting salvation and the need for redemption, but within the framework of God the Creator, an eternal destiny and overcoming temptation and sin that ultimately leads to death and separation from God: a Christian faery-tale indeed is possible, without the obvious mark of theological inditement.
Perhaps literature is no longer as provocative and remonstrative as it once was. What is being bred now - and what we have become accustomed to - are less paper-based, more electronic-based media, through which much discussion is produced and different trains of thought are encouraged. Where we stand - and where we are going, ever so quickly it seems - is upon the prow of a vessel where rotting bookshelves sink further beneath the turbid waters and a myriad of plasma tv's invade our horizon. Destination: change. Is this the transition period?
It's a real pity that in this secular world, so much, if not all of public television is consumed with immorality. The Christian message is not there, nor is an absolute truth proclaimed in any form. As seasons cycle past, every programme degenerates and begins to step into questionable territory. I feel that this is just another of the enemy's games. Interest is sparked and you follow along; then, before you know it, an episode is dropped in that defies logic: moral bounds are surpassed and it spoils the programme itself for you, the believer, because you are then faced with a moral dilemma: to continue watching and hope that the series doesn't ever-so-subtly sprout more seeds of bankruptcy or to scratch off yet another captivating story because the path it is now taking cannot be overlooked.
Certain elements in the entertainment industry are simply a no-go. Wouldn't it be better if we capitalised on the current scheme of things - when it comes to media - and gave to society something that never strayed from within moral constraints; things such as forgiveness, honesty and real love, without the need for spite, deceit and pre-marital sex? There are so many genres that are swallowed up by impiety and the giants of the Western world - couldn't we produce quality television of the same calibre as our pagan neighbours and show what we should be truly capable of?
We live in different times. Last century, many technological advances were made - this current generation lacks willpower, morality, self-sacrifice, and even intelligence. Children are not encouraged to improve their logic and reasoning but instead are indoctrinated more and more with lies. Everything we see and hear is filtered through our environment. If that environment is not one of morality and truth, then people are not even encouraged to question their worldview itself.
Apathy and acceptance of false image are two of the biggest hurdles in reaching a tilting generation. What worked ten years ago is not likely to be of interest to those at the same stage in their lives now. As life progresses and we change to adapt ourselves to where we are, it makes the most sense not to push away what is there to utilise but to embrace it and use it for the purposes it should be used for.
God is the one who created us. It stands to reason that in all of our creativity we shouldn't view Christianity as a minority from the 20th Century but a driving force of this current decade, year, month, and even day. I don't profess to be "up with the play" but we all have a calling; our destiny cannot be fulfilled if we are not exercising the gifts that we have been given. We can't slow down time or prevent secular changes from happening. We can move forward in this wonderful world that we've been given and show people that there is more to life than expectation of temporary fulfilment.
I can't stress how important it is that Christians be not the nay-sayers, but the pioneers and entrepreneurs of the now. We hold the only truth. We are the only faith who have real liberty - freedom from unseen bondage that ensnares us from birth. We should be setting the standard and releasing grace, mercy and love in every form of enjoyment, insight and teaching. Many great men and women of the past who paved the way for our current technological exploits received inspiration from on High. Where are the Christian tv programmes that captivate thousands of people in every city? Where are the Christian movies that are nominated for worldwide recognition awards? Where are the Christian books that are in the world bestsellers' list?
It's not a matter of condemning such illusion and trickery that has beguiled even the most dedicated believer - it is about recognising what is right, what is obedient to God, what gives him glory - and presenting that to the world to replace such desensitising exploitative material that is in so much heartbreaking abundance. You can't expect to pump effluence out of the hole without replacing it with clean water.
If we were to give to the world Christian alternatives that were both captivating and relevant in every way - think how people's attitudes would change. Think how more open to the truth people would be. Think how much more health and life people would have. Think how much more like the One in whose image we are created we could become. Because life does have a purpose - how are we bringing this hope to our world?
-Timotheos
Monday, March 27, 2006
The Plot Thickens
The basis of a plot: our hero of the tale starts out as a normal person but with an impending destiny. He takes a journey to fulfil a mission of some sort that has an impact on the entire world. This often involves the gathering of some sort of items imbued with power - artifacts from an ancient time, perhaps - that will contribute toward a favourable outcome: vanquishing the land of an evil existence. This all happens as the imminent threat of evil looms ever closer and events begin to unfold, pointing towards a climactic clash of will: good vs. evil.
Throughout this journey, our developing hero is put to the test, learning new skills to benefit him in the upcoming confrontation. Such skills involve learning about himself to the extent that he is able to control nature itself in one form or another. But the hero is not alone. He gathers about him necessary allies to assist in his progression towards the explosive end. It is also in this journey that he realises his foe is far to powerful to face alone as a mere human. It is up to a higher, unearthly power to descend and turn the tide so that the evil charge can be banished for all eternity and the land can rest from war for a time, revelling in its newfound peace - under the rule of its new High King: our hero himself, who grew from being a fumbling adolescent to an insightful and benevolent legend.
At least, it has the makings of your average fantasy tale. Perhaps the hero is an orphan and was raised by humble folk, dreaming of a future where he realises his parents were not really dead but were the rulers of a noble state in a far off land... Or perhaps he grew up in a palace, shielded from the horrors of the outside world, only to one day discover that the world outside was nothing to be feared but a place to be explored, dangers inclusive - and in exploring, gets caught up in a mission to expel the devastating plague of apathy and despair that creeps across the land, slowly sucking life itself from his own society.
Whatever the scenario that sets the scene for our story, the all-important essence of note is that there is a threat, there is a hero, and the hero expels the threat so that it is no more. Whatever happens inbetween is just preparation for the final battle - the point where we see the hero emerge triumphant, putting into practise all that he has learned in his journey. What leads to the climax is highly important in molding and shaping all characters, as paths cross and the patterns are intricately woven to display the resplendent tapestry in its perfect, completed form.
If you know how it ends, then go: build your world; sculpt your characters; engineer your events; scribe your conspiracies. Make sure to mention dragons, elves and the ancient prophecy involving the final clash between the champion of Good and the representation of Evil. From there it's all substance and filling scenes with sight, sound and smell, as each character takes on a life of its own and the story unfolds of its own accord. Because when you know the end, the beginning must already exist.
-Timotheos
Throughout this journey, our developing hero is put to the test, learning new skills to benefit him in the upcoming confrontation. Such skills involve learning about himself to the extent that he is able to control nature itself in one form or another. But the hero is not alone. He gathers about him necessary allies to assist in his progression towards the explosive end. It is also in this journey that he realises his foe is far to powerful to face alone as a mere human. It is up to a higher, unearthly power to descend and turn the tide so that the evil charge can be banished for all eternity and the land can rest from war for a time, revelling in its newfound peace - under the rule of its new High King: our hero himself, who grew from being a fumbling adolescent to an insightful and benevolent legend.
At least, it has the makings of your average fantasy tale. Perhaps the hero is an orphan and was raised by humble folk, dreaming of a future where he realises his parents were not really dead but were the rulers of a noble state in a far off land... Or perhaps he grew up in a palace, shielded from the horrors of the outside world, only to one day discover that the world outside was nothing to be feared but a place to be explored, dangers inclusive - and in exploring, gets caught up in a mission to expel the devastating plague of apathy and despair that creeps across the land, slowly sucking life itself from his own society.
Whatever the scenario that sets the scene for our story, the all-important essence of note is that there is a threat, there is a hero, and the hero expels the threat so that it is no more. Whatever happens inbetween is just preparation for the final battle - the point where we see the hero emerge triumphant, putting into practise all that he has learned in his journey. What leads to the climax is highly important in molding and shaping all characters, as paths cross and the patterns are intricately woven to display the resplendent tapestry in its perfect, completed form.
If you know how it ends, then go: build your world; sculpt your characters; engineer your events; scribe your conspiracies. Make sure to mention dragons, elves and the ancient prophecy involving the final clash between the champion of Good and the representation of Evil. From there it's all substance and filling scenes with sight, sound and smell, as each character takes on a life of its own and the story unfolds of its own accord. Because when you know the end, the beginning must already exist.
-Timotheos
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Hearing the Truth
Prayer can be hard when there seems to just be a one-way thing going on. I know I don't get excited about prayer. I've been a Christian for 20 years now and so have had a lot of time to learn, to grow and to mature in my faith. Going through Bible College brought me to a new level and really allowed me to grow, especially in discerning the voice of God and learning more realistically just what it means to have Him direct and guide you.
But when it comes to prayer, I really struggle to put aside distractions and just dedicate myself to any form of intercession. Listening to God is all very well - since he does speak to us, no question - but there isn't a real passion there, as there should be. We talk revival and people can hype themselves up with expectation and a touch from the Spirit of God, but unless you live it daily and make that human effort to grow spiritually then not only can temptation start to bend you to its will but you can become more and more deadened to hearing His voice - the direction towards your destiny.
I make an effort to do what I can in maintaining a certain level of spiritual awareness - speaking in tongues, praying and reading the Word of God. What I lack is a) accountability; b) mentorship; c) mentoring; d) obeying God. It's this last one that really nags at my spirit. I do my utmost to put aside everything and just really pursue His countenance - it's just really hard for me at this stage in my journey to actually hear what He is saying to me, even if I do listen.
It has become a one-way thing purely because I have failed to maintain more than a basic level of communication with God. Prayers have not been heartfelt, nor have they come from the depths of my soul on more than an inconsistent and all too infrequent basis. My prayer life over this last year or more has been sorely lacking - in terms of power, product and perception. In reflecting on this, perhaps I can make a real effort to pray more - and to constantly remind myself of the importance and effect of praying both consistently and frequently.
Spiritual warfare is essential - especially now when so much of the world lives in darkness. Part of the reason that I am so physically and mentally drained is that I haven't kept up a regular prayer schedule but have given God something other than my firstfruits. Building yourself up in spirit is different than pouring out worship in a communicative form. Touching God doesn't come easily but in all my years as a Christian I should know the importance of not only living a life of worship but in living a life of daily prayer - real prayer.
So it has to start afresh - at least, that's the way I see it. I'm so tired right now that my fleshly self is crying out for rest, when I know that it's my spirit that needs to be refreshed. And since that can only come from one place, certain priorities need to be reviewed and adjusted.
God has been speaking to me, despite my inability to hear - and unwillingness to listen. I wanted to go to Japan for purely selfish reasons. They weren't even very solid reasons at all. My main purpose, I felt, was to be in a place where the gospel was needed and where salt and light could be sown into a dark place. Now I know, in retrospect, that this isn't my current calling. Sure, I may go one day, but right now I am where I am supposed to be. I wanted to run away from responsibilities here - especially my mundane and physically draining job. I'm sick do death (what? It's an expression...!) of my job and of not fulfilling a greater purpose. What I've realised now is that I need to just grin and bear it for a while longer as I build my spiritual life afresh and take stock of where I'm at since leaving that desert place.
It's been a few weeks since I gave up the soul-sucking addiction that was World of Warcraft but in that time I feel that I haven't really achieved much, save to spout a few words here and there and to intend to do things to bring me closer to my destiny. So I want to have the metier of being a successful writer - I will, zettai - but in order to achieve this goal, wouldn't it be wise to follow the course of so many other world-renowned authors, and to get a real education?
And so my initial intent was a good premise. I will go to university and study literature and/or linguistics. Whatever will improve my writing skills and not only allow me to write more professionally, but will give me the means by which I can get a foothold into the realm of publishing. Editing or proof-reading would come as second nature to me and could be a vocation, but my passion is in writing; and so I will accept the talent that God has given me and strive to get to the point where I am a full-time author, for His glory and my pocket.
That's right, I can't be a poor author. What sort of old-fashioned mindset is that? The successful writer is able to adapt to the circumstances - but is skillful enough to make a living off doing not only what he or she is good at, but enjoys to the point of getting an income purely from reciting a magnificent tale of heroism and achievement. Yes, fiction. However, in the shadow of such apologists as C.S Lewis, whose works are a true inspiration to one such as myself, producing works of non-fiction for the expression of my faith are also something to be mindful of.
Watch this space.
-Timotheos
But when it comes to prayer, I really struggle to put aside distractions and just dedicate myself to any form of intercession. Listening to God is all very well - since he does speak to us, no question - but there isn't a real passion there, as there should be. We talk revival and people can hype themselves up with expectation and a touch from the Spirit of God, but unless you live it daily and make that human effort to grow spiritually then not only can temptation start to bend you to its will but you can become more and more deadened to hearing His voice - the direction towards your destiny.
I make an effort to do what I can in maintaining a certain level of spiritual awareness - speaking in tongues, praying and reading the Word of God. What I lack is a) accountability; b) mentorship; c) mentoring; d) obeying God. It's this last one that really nags at my spirit. I do my utmost to put aside everything and just really pursue His countenance - it's just really hard for me at this stage in my journey to actually hear what He is saying to me, even if I do listen.
It has become a one-way thing purely because I have failed to maintain more than a basic level of communication with God. Prayers have not been heartfelt, nor have they come from the depths of my soul on more than an inconsistent and all too infrequent basis. My prayer life over this last year or more has been sorely lacking - in terms of power, product and perception. In reflecting on this, perhaps I can make a real effort to pray more - and to constantly remind myself of the importance and effect of praying both consistently and frequently.
Spiritual warfare is essential - especially now when so much of the world lives in darkness. Part of the reason that I am so physically and mentally drained is that I haven't kept up a regular prayer schedule but have given God something other than my firstfruits. Building yourself up in spirit is different than pouring out worship in a communicative form. Touching God doesn't come easily but in all my years as a Christian I should know the importance of not only living a life of worship but in living a life of daily prayer - real prayer.
So it has to start afresh - at least, that's the way I see it. I'm so tired right now that my fleshly self is crying out for rest, when I know that it's my spirit that needs to be refreshed. And since that can only come from one place, certain priorities need to be reviewed and adjusted.
God has been speaking to me, despite my inability to hear - and unwillingness to listen. I wanted to go to Japan for purely selfish reasons. They weren't even very solid reasons at all. My main purpose, I felt, was to be in a place where the gospel was needed and where salt and light could be sown into a dark place. Now I know, in retrospect, that this isn't my current calling. Sure, I may go one day, but right now I am where I am supposed to be. I wanted to run away from responsibilities here - especially my mundane and physically draining job. I'm sick do death (what? It's an expression...!) of my job and of not fulfilling a greater purpose. What I've realised now is that I need to just grin and bear it for a while longer as I build my spiritual life afresh and take stock of where I'm at since leaving that desert place.
It's been a few weeks since I gave up the soul-sucking addiction that was World of Warcraft but in that time I feel that I haven't really achieved much, save to spout a few words here and there and to intend to do things to bring me closer to my destiny. So I want to have the metier of being a successful writer - I will, zettai - but in order to achieve this goal, wouldn't it be wise to follow the course of so many other world-renowned authors, and to get a real education?
And so my initial intent was a good premise. I will go to university and study literature and/or linguistics. Whatever will improve my writing skills and not only allow me to write more professionally, but will give me the means by which I can get a foothold into the realm of publishing. Editing or proof-reading would come as second nature to me and could be a vocation, but my passion is in writing; and so I will accept the talent that God has given me and strive to get to the point where I am a full-time author, for His glory and my pocket.
That's right, I can't be a poor author. What sort of old-fashioned mindset is that? The successful writer is able to adapt to the circumstances - but is skillful enough to make a living off doing not only what he or she is good at, but enjoys to the point of getting an income purely from reciting a magnificent tale of heroism and achievement. Yes, fiction. However, in the shadow of such apologists as C.S Lewis, whose works are a true inspiration to one such as myself, producing works of non-fiction for the expression of my faith are also something to be mindful of.
Watch this space.
-Timotheos
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Speaking Volumes
My book collection consists of more than 98 books. I have all of my standard fantasy / sci-fi / adventure books catalogued - but I have a handful of other books; and not just non-fiction (which I don't count as part of my collection). So basically I currently have 98 novels - some are stand-alone works but most are fantasy series'.
I intend to complete a lot of the series' that I have so far - especially getting the first volume in a series I only have one or two books in. There are quite a few that I haven't even read since I am waiting until I have the first volume. I guess I could utilise the library or try to find ebooks - but reading is quite time consuming and I'd rather focus on one book at once, putting in time for writing my own masterpiece ^L^
Following this is a listing of all the fantasy / sci-fi novels I have. I've also compiled into a spreadsheet a list of books that I have yet to get hold of, despite my bookshelf looking nicely filled already. The simple fact is, I like to collect books in paper form, and although I haven't bought anything in a long time, I spent today revising my database and revising the list that I have of books I would like to get to add to that collection.
Arden, Tom
The King and Queen of Swords
Attanasio, A. A.
The Shadow Eater
Brooks, Terry (he wrote The Phantom Menace)
The Word and the Void (3 volumes in one)
First King of Shannara
The Sword of Shannara
The Elfstones of Shannara
The Wishsong of Shannara
The Scions of Shannara
The Druid of Shannara
The Elf Queen of Shannara
The Talismans of Shannara
Ilse Witch
Catran, Ken
The Ghosts of Triton
Claremont, Chris and Lucas, George (Mr. Star Wars himself)
Shadow Dawn
Clancy, Tom and Pieczenik, Steve
One is the Loneliest Number
Cole, Allan
Wolves of the Gods
Cornwell, Bernard
Excalibur
Crichton, Michael
Congo
The Lost World
Douglass, Sara
Battleaxe
Enchanter
Starman
Drake, David
Queen of Demons
Feist, Raymond E. (a favourite author)
Magician
Silverthorn
A Darkness at Sethanon
Rage of a Demon King
Shards of a Broken Crown
Krondor: The Betrayal
Krondor: The Assassins
Krondor: Tear of the Gods
Goodkind, Terry
Wizard's First Rule (currently missing)
Blood of the Fold
Temple of the Winds
Soul of the Fire
Harbinson, W. A.
The Crystal Skulls
Hobb, Robin (writes under this pseudonym - her real name is Margaret Ogden)
Assassin's Quest
Irvine, Ian (Aussie author)
A Shadow on the Glass
The Tower on the Rift
Lost the third volume...
The Way Between the Worlds
Jefferies, Mike
Threads of Magic
Jordan, Robert (another favourite author)
The Eye of the World
The Great Hunt
The Dragon Reborn
The Shadow Rising
The Fires of Heaven
Lord of Chaos
A Crown of Swords
The Path of Daggers
Winter's Heart
Kerr, Katharine
Darkspell
The Red Wyvern
The Black Raven
The Fire Dragon
King, Stephen
The Green Mile in six individual volumes (boxed set):
The Two Dead Girls
The Mouse on the Mile
Coffey's Hands
The Bad Death of Eduard Delacroix
Night Journey
Coffey on the Mile
Leith, Valery
The Company of Glass
Mann, Phillip
The Dragon Wakes
The Burning Forest (didn't like this series)
McCaffrey, Anne
Freedom's Choice
McKenna, Juliet E. (good author)
The Thief's Gamble
The Swordsman's Oath
The Gambler's Fortune
The Warrior's Bond (great series)
Modesitt, Jr., L. E. (another fav. - very talented)
Legacies
The Magic of Recluce (Recluce is an awesome series)
The Towers of the Sunset
The Magic Engineer
The Order War
Colours of Chaos
Scion of Cyador
The Spellsong War
Darksong Rising
Moorcock, Michael
Corum: The Coming of Chaos
Peretti, Frank E.
Piercing the Darkness
Prophet
This Present Darkness
Silverburg, Robert
Lord Prestimion
The Mountains of Majipoor
Smith, E. E.
Triplanetary (very old sci-fi)
Starbuck, Kathlyn S. (Raymond E. Feist's wife)
Time in Mind
Tolkien, J. R. R. (need I say more?)
Missing the first because I want to find one with a matching cover...
The Two Towers
The Return of the King
Weiss, Margaret and Hickman, Tracy
Well of Darkness
Whitbourn, John
Downs-Lord Dawn
Downs-Lord Day
Williams, Tad (good author, too)
City of Golden Shadow
River of Blue Fire
Mountain of Black Glass
Sea of Silver Light (another awesome series - sci-fi)
Wurts, Janny (her writing is very... complex)
The Curse of the Mistwraith
The Ships of Merior
Fugitive Prince
Peril's Gate (this series is really good but she's been taking her time to release them)
I realise that I'm lacking a lot of information - there's no indication of which books go to what series or which volume within each series each book pertains to. This is a basic list taken from my database to give a fair idea of what I have without going too indepth.
That about sums up my Saturday. I did spend a lot of time this morning cleaning and then went downtown to get a haircut and grab a few things. Just been wasting time online tonight and watched The Transporter - the audio seems to get out of sync on that movie no matter which copy of it I get...
And... I'm playing the drums tomorrow morning at church ^L^
Good night!
-Timotheos
I intend to complete a lot of the series' that I have so far - especially getting the first volume in a series I only have one or two books in. There are quite a few that I haven't even read since I am waiting until I have the first volume. I guess I could utilise the library or try to find ebooks - but reading is quite time consuming and I'd rather focus on one book at once, putting in time for writing my own masterpiece ^L^
Following this is a listing of all the fantasy / sci-fi novels I have. I've also compiled into a spreadsheet a list of books that I have yet to get hold of, despite my bookshelf looking nicely filled already. The simple fact is, I like to collect books in paper form, and although I haven't bought anything in a long time, I spent today revising my database and revising the list that I have of books I would like to get to add to that collection.
Arden, Tom
The King and Queen of Swords
Attanasio, A. A.
The Shadow Eater
Brooks, Terry (he wrote The Phantom Menace)
The Word and the Void (3 volumes in one)
First King of Shannara
The Sword of Shannara
The Elfstones of Shannara
The Wishsong of Shannara
The Scions of Shannara
The Druid of Shannara
The Elf Queen of Shannara
The Talismans of Shannara
Ilse Witch
Catran, Ken
The Ghosts of Triton
Claremont, Chris and Lucas, George (Mr. Star Wars himself)
Shadow Dawn
Clancy, Tom and Pieczenik, Steve
One is the Loneliest Number
Cole, Allan
Wolves of the Gods
Cornwell, Bernard
Excalibur
Crichton, Michael
Congo
The Lost World
Douglass, Sara
Battleaxe
Enchanter
Starman
Drake, David
Queen of Demons
Feist, Raymond E. (a favourite author)
Magician
Silverthorn
A Darkness at Sethanon
Rage of a Demon King
Shards of a Broken Crown
Krondor: The Betrayal
Krondor: The Assassins
Krondor: Tear of the Gods
Goodkind, Terry
Wizard's First Rule (currently missing)
Blood of the Fold
Temple of the Winds
Soul of the Fire
Harbinson, W. A.
The Crystal Skulls
Hobb, Robin (writes under this pseudonym - her real name is Margaret Ogden)
Assassin's Quest
Irvine, Ian (Aussie author)
A Shadow on the Glass
The Tower on the Rift
Lost the third volume...
The Way Between the Worlds
Jefferies, Mike
Threads of Magic
Jordan, Robert (another favourite author)
The Eye of the World
The Great Hunt
The Dragon Reborn
The Shadow Rising
The Fires of Heaven
Lord of Chaos
A Crown of Swords
The Path of Daggers
Winter's Heart
Kerr, Katharine
Darkspell
The Red Wyvern
The Black Raven
The Fire Dragon
King, Stephen
The Green Mile in six individual volumes (boxed set):
The Two Dead Girls
The Mouse on the Mile
Coffey's Hands
The Bad Death of Eduard Delacroix
Night Journey
Coffey on the Mile
Leith, Valery
The Company of Glass
Mann, Phillip
The Dragon Wakes
The Burning Forest (didn't like this series)
McCaffrey, Anne
Freedom's Choice
McKenna, Juliet E. (good author)
The Thief's Gamble
The Swordsman's Oath
The Gambler's Fortune
The Warrior's Bond (great series)
Modesitt, Jr., L. E. (another fav. - very talented)
Legacies
The Magic of Recluce (Recluce is an awesome series)
The Towers of the Sunset
The Magic Engineer
The Order War
Colours of Chaos
Scion of Cyador
The Spellsong War
Darksong Rising
Moorcock, Michael
Corum: The Coming of Chaos
Peretti, Frank E.
Piercing the Darkness
Prophet
This Present Darkness
Silverburg, Robert
Lord Prestimion
The Mountains of Majipoor
Smith, E. E.
Triplanetary (very old sci-fi)
Starbuck, Kathlyn S. (Raymond E. Feist's wife)
Time in Mind
Tolkien, J. R. R. (need I say more?)
Missing the first because I want to find one with a matching cover...
The Two Towers
The Return of the King
Weiss, Margaret and Hickman, Tracy
Well of Darkness
Whitbourn, John
Downs-Lord Dawn
Downs-Lord Day
Williams, Tad (good author, too)
City of Golden Shadow
River of Blue Fire
Mountain of Black Glass
Sea of Silver Light (another awesome series - sci-fi)
Wurts, Janny (her writing is very... complex)
The Curse of the Mistwraith
The Ships of Merior
Fugitive Prince
Peril's Gate (this series is really good but she's been taking her time to release them)
I realise that I'm lacking a lot of information - there's no indication of which books go to what series or which volume within each series each book pertains to. This is a basic list taken from my database to give a fair idea of what I have without going too indepth.
That about sums up my Saturday. I did spend a lot of time this morning cleaning and then went downtown to get a haircut and grab a few things. Just been wasting time online tonight and watched The Transporter - the audio seems to get out of sync on that movie no matter which copy of it I get...
And... I'm playing the drums tomorrow morning at church ^L^
Good night!
-Timotheos
Friday, March 24, 2006
At a stretch
The good writer writes, no matter how he or she feels. Although, my most fluid writing has always come when I am in an emotional extreme - more often in a state of depression than anything else. Interesting that with the boring life I currently have, I am not in such a state all that often - and so the lack of being emotionally high or low may be a part of the reason for my hesitancy and lack of writing. Then again, I already blamed WoW. Why dig deeper...?
So... although I have written fifteen pages at a stretch of just how I feel (it's been months since I had such a bout...), I am now faced with the daily task of submitting a written piece of my life. Taking a frame and producing words to express that small portion of time. A lot can happen in 24 hours; just ask Keifer Sutherland. But an entire rotation of the earth can also produce nothing of note, which is often the case of those who get up, go to work and then come home, only to relax in some mundane way until attempting to sleep. One full day that lacks accomplishment.
My intention is not to focus on my lack of excitement and events - but rather to grasp hold of everything I can in each day that I live. There is so much to be thankful for that even if the sun wasn't eclipsed and the house next door didn't burn down, I can still write - because it is in my nature; it is in my blood; the flow is there - it's just that, being human and all, I sometimes have to scoop the mud and grit away to allow the river free pace. For the unblocked mind is a torrent of unmatched strength!
Mum and dad rang me tonight. Nick went up to Hamilton to see Laurelle /rolleyes and so I am all alone - and will be for the next 8 or 9 days. It gives me plenty of time to finish Nick's present without fear of discovery, though. I know that he will be both amazed and pleased with what I am planning *grin*
I talked to my parents for a while. Seems that it's a bit of a struggle for dad with his troublesome students (makes me think of Shikamaru, hehe: always saying things are "troublesome" [men-dok-san, or something?]). Mum doesn't mind the rural life though. I bet Jonny doesn't like it up there though. Probably not enough city action. Not that Lower Hutt is a city of action - but in New Zealand terms it is still a city - my city. I could never live out in the wops. It's just not... life.
After my phone conversation with mum I rang Lish. We actually talked for more than half an hour. Makes me think of that movie with Ving Rhames where he would call his sister and confess each time he did a crime. In the end I think that was what gave him and his friend away. Can't quite remember the movie but that was one quirk that came to mind ^L^
Smallville. Having launched into Season Four (Season 5 is currently playing, I think - I do have about half of the new season, actually - just gotta get there before I start watching it!), we are finally introduced to Lois Lane. I must say, she's not half bad. In fact... she's pretty hot. At first glance, anyway. Which reminds me: we get a lot of international people coming into our store - after all, Wellington / Lower Hutt is a very multi-national and multi-cultural place. Today, some South American chick (chica?) was there with a guy - but man, she was fine! South American women seem to have an alluring beauty. Genetically they are wondrous, for sure! /ahem
SouthAmericanwifeftwwtfbbq!!@!!1ELEVEN!!1!
Stargate. Nothing special. Still slowly plowing through the fourth season. I believe this is the season where Daniel disappears and Jonas come onboard but I'm not sure. I know that when it was airing, I missed a lot due to Bible College and then my stint overseas. Which is why I started right from the beginning. I'd rather watch Smallville right through - not because it's a "teenage drama"; more for the fact that a) Lana and Lois are both hot; b) Super man is teh roXorz!; and c) The wit between Lionel and Lex Luther and the ambiguities and metaphors that surround them bring a whole new understanding to Superman's biggest nemesis. I thrive on anything pertaining to human nature. Especially with that science fiction factor thrown into the milieu ^o^
And so the trek to supreme authority continues~
Oh, my hidden puns are enjoyable. It's like Where's Wally, text style. The keyboard is mightier than the sword. Cross words can be fun XD
-Timotheos
So... although I have written fifteen pages at a stretch of just how I feel (it's been months since I had such a bout...), I am now faced with the daily task of submitting a written piece of my life. Taking a frame and producing words to express that small portion of time. A lot can happen in 24 hours; just ask Keifer Sutherland. But an entire rotation of the earth can also produce nothing of note, which is often the case of those who get up, go to work and then come home, only to relax in some mundane way until attempting to sleep. One full day that lacks accomplishment.
My intention is not to focus on my lack of excitement and events - but rather to grasp hold of everything I can in each day that I live. There is so much to be thankful for that even if the sun wasn't eclipsed and the house next door didn't burn down, I can still write - because it is in my nature; it is in my blood; the flow is there - it's just that, being human and all, I sometimes have to scoop the mud and grit away to allow the river free pace. For the unblocked mind is a torrent of unmatched strength!
Mum and dad rang me tonight. Nick went up to Hamilton to see Laurelle /rolleyes and so I am all alone - and will be for the next 8 or 9 days. It gives me plenty of time to finish Nick's present without fear of discovery, though. I know that he will be both amazed and pleased with what I am planning *grin*
I talked to my parents for a while. Seems that it's a bit of a struggle for dad with his troublesome students (makes me think of Shikamaru, hehe: always saying things are "troublesome" [men-dok-san, or something?]). Mum doesn't mind the rural life though. I bet Jonny doesn't like it up there though. Probably not enough city action. Not that Lower Hutt is a city of action - but in New Zealand terms it is still a city - my city. I could never live out in the wops. It's just not... life.
After my phone conversation with mum I rang Lish. We actually talked for more than half an hour. Makes me think of that movie with Ving Rhames where he would call his sister and confess each time he did a crime. In the end I think that was what gave him and his friend away. Can't quite remember the movie but that was one quirk that came to mind ^L^
Smallville. Having launched into Season Four (Season 5 is currently playing, I think - I do have about half of the new season, actually - just gotta get there before I start watching it!), we are finally introduced to Lois Lane. I must say, she's not half bad. In fact... she's pretty hot. At first glance, anyway. Which reminds me: we get a lot of international people coming into our store - after all, Wellington / Lower Hutt is a very multi-national and multi-cultural place. Today, some South American chick (chica?) was there with a guy - but man, she was fine! South American women seem to have an alluring beauty. Genetically they are wondrous, for sure! /ahem
SouthAmericanwifeftwwtfbbq!!@!!1ELEVEN!!1!
Stargate. Nothing special. Still slowly plowing through the fourth season. I believe this is the season where Daniel disappears and Jonas come onboard but I'm not sure. I know that when it was airing, I missed a lot due to Bible College and then my stint overseas. Which is why I started right from the beginning. I'd rather watch Smallville right through - not because it's a "teenage drama"; more for the fact that a) Lana and Lois are both hot; b) Super man is teh roXorz!; and c) The wit between Lionel and Lex Luther and the ambiguities and metaphors that surround them bring a whole new understanding to Superman's biggest nemesis. I thrive on anything pertaining to human nature. Especially with that science fiction factor thrown into the milieu ^o^
And so the trek to supreme authority continues~
Oh, my hidden puns are enjoyable. It's like Where's Wally, text style. The keyboard is mightier than the sword. Cross words can be fun XD
-Timotheos
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Prologue
I went back to a story I began writing a while back and edited it. It has some promise. In fact, it wasn't too bad a piece - it's much better now, but it still lacks a solidly laid out plot, character designs, etc. I'm trying my hand at science fiction before delving back into fantasy. Though I could definitely write a complete fantasy novel - or perhaps even a series - writing science fiction provides more of a challenge; although it does give me more of a solid foundation to work with.
I didn't get anything else done tonight except to research the fantasy genre a little more - mostly just seeing what people say about writing fantasy. I think my book collection is pretty fair and now that I am planning to read a lot more (when I'm not writing or editing, that is), inspiration will come unbidden and I will pour forth a torrent of ideas to create a world from nothing. A world that will become a story. A story birthed that must be expressed for all to experience.
This is the final part of the five page prologue that I wrote. My story doesn't yet have a name but I did form the basis of a plot in my head and wrote that down. That'll be in a document somewhere close by...
Prologue: Part II
I didn't get anything else done tonight except to research the fantasy genre a little more - mostly just seeing what people say about writing fantasy. I think my book collection is pretty fair and now that I am planning to read a lot more (when I'm not writing or editing, that is), inspiration will come unbidden and I will pour forth a torrent of ideas to create a world from nothing. A world that will become a story. A story birthed that must be expressed for all to experience.
This is the final part of the five page prologue that I wrote. My story doesn't yet have a name but I did form the basis of a plot in my head and wrote that down. That'll be in a document somewhere close by...
Prologue: Part II
The screen went blank. The whole mood had changed throughout the course of that briefing. Vender passed a hand through his hair and quickly ran his tongue over his lips. He still wasn't convinced that there was a threat at all, let alone some race of beings that placed thoughts in everyone's head. It just couldn't be possible.
There may be many undiscovered beings left in the universe; but nothing could enslave humanity for 6,000 years and allow it to achieve what it had – of that, the lieutenant was certain. His thoughts were his own. If he had ever committed murder in his mind, when had it ever amounted to anything? Everyone had experienced hatred, vengeance and revenge. These are normal, passing feelings. No alien was making him do anything.
He stood up, his monitor folding itself down into the desk. Hmph. Technology to prove the existence of some things that had allowed it to develop thus far? Absurd!
But what were all these past claims? He would have to look into it. Vender wasn't easily convinced; but then, he had never questioned things so deeply before. He began to have doubts – even of his doubtful nature.
He wondered if this was the start of a mid-life crisis. Was he struggling within himself? Was he struggling to discover if his nature and attitude were ready to experience a sudden shift? Mason needed a caffeinated drink before he delved too deeply into his own psyche.
Had he been too pretentious? Colonel Jameson really was a nice man. Not only that, but he had earned Vender’s respect. Not just because he was a senior officer: his whole manner was appealing to most of the other officers. Yes, Vender liked him. Yes, Vender respected and admired him. But he just couldn't believe this… this proclamation that invisible aliens controlled humanity. And now, the Federation was going to stop them!
The Lieutenant walked to the door and palmed it open. That familiar warmth hit his hand as the computer scanned it. Swish. He stepped out into the hallway, his mind awash with conflicting thoughts. The conference with the Colonel had lasted only a few minutes at most; but it felt like he had received the worst of news. Baka! Colonel Jameson had merely informed him of where they were. He deserved to be in the loop!
There was that nagging feeling again: as if he had to remember something. Mason scratched his temple. He would have a drink and then go see Foxten. His co-lieutenant’s jovial manner was just what he needed right now.
A little flustered, Mason collected himself and tried to shrug off these negative feelings. It hadn't even been that heavy; and yet the conversation weighed on him more and more. He thought it best to stop thinking at all – he was starting to feel nauseous.
Lieutenant Mason Vender straightened his tunic and set off down the brightly lit hallway towards the B deck mess. The insipid alien drifted along silently behind him; invisible tendrils snaking through the ether and into the oblivious human’s soul.
***
There was actually an entire conversation that preceded this. It spans about four pages or so and goes a little more indepth into the "alien threat". Anyway, I'll see gow far this one goes. Who knows, it may flop and I'll end up starting afresh with new ideas from a mixed persepective: futuristic fantasy XD
-Timotheos
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Revised edition
For want of a title to this entry, I thought of something I did today. I began anew a series that I have already read. Back in the days of having finished school when I had a lot of free time, I wasn't addicted to computer games - I read. I read so much that I was able to get through the average book in a day. These days I read a lot slower (and less frequently) but back then I read volume four of The Wheel of Time (1,001 pages) in a day and a half.
I picked up volume ten of the WoT a few months back - and despite the fact that it'd been years since I'd begun the series I thought I could dive in and pick up where I'd left off. However, not only did I have no idea what was going on or who was whom, but I found that I couldn't even bring myself to finish the book! Since I've only been reading books whilst at work, on my breaks, it stands to reason that getting through a lengthy read takes more than one library issue period.
I'd like to actually start the entire series over again but it will have to wait until I'm back into the flow of things and can devote myself to more than 45 mins of reading time a day. Even if I could concentrate properly in my work environment, that's still only ~45 pages per day, which makes reading any substantial novel quite a time consuming effort. I will strive to get in more reading time but it is something I will have to ease myself into once more. I'm not the reader, nor the writer, that I used to be, unfortunately. But I will publish a novel one day - of that I am certain!
I finished reading Frank Herbert's Dune for the first time yesterday. That in itself took me a couple of weeks at least. I really have not read at home anything but online stuff, quest information and manga, since I started playing WoW a year ago. Now, since quitting, I've found that all the spare time I've been granted really hasn't changed me much at all - I am not using my time as wisely, nor as effectively, as I could be.
But things are apt to change. As I move into this new season - with my sights on Japan and the call in my spirit to take up such a challenge as going to a pagan country where I am presented with all manner of physical, emotional and spiritual barriers - I will take up those things of the past that were good; and will leave those things that were not so good.
Magician. Raymond E. Feist's first Riftwar novel. A series that spawned other series' and basically set in stone the author's career as a professional novelist. In fact, I would like to complete my entire collection of novels that are related back to Midkemia in some way. I have some of the second-most recent series but he seems to keep writing more and so it is hard to keep up. Besides, I have forgotten a lot of the content of these novels, so it is a bit nostalgic almost to go back and read them over from the start. To recall the adventures is just like the revised edition of Magician itself. Revisiting old fictional characters whose lives you remember, though not in too great a detail; recalling events as you read about them and filling in the gaps that occur over time as you drift ever further from that point of building such a world as was created by such a gifted writer.
/tingle
I really must begin my own pursuit of releasing a published work. Short stories seem to go over well to kick some people off from being a casual writer to a professional author. But that's far too small for my ambition. If I were as dedicated to writing as I was to playing my hunter and mage over the past year, I would surely have a bestseller on my hands even now XD
Holy Spirit guides me and allows me to exercise my gift. Giving God the glory always - always - results in blessing. And so, my gifts cannot be utilised for anything but glorifying Him who breathed life into my very being. I seek not to stand apart and have people recognise my name as that of a bestselling author (though the thought of making a living doing what I love to do does have an appeal...). I only want to fulfil my destiny - and since we do choose our destiny and God is willing to bless us immensely if we are but faithful to Him; well, how can I decline an offer to simply put into practise what he has crafted me for?
The basic premise here is that I have not only made a decision to truly try and get to Japan to teach - and to spread the good news that there is a Saviour who cares for such a perverted and messed up culture - but that it is time I picked up my calling and began to act as mature as I should now be - in all regards. To have put my destiny on hold was perhaps a necessary part of the "desert experience" but to come out of that and into a new season only to procrastinate and allow the days to slip by without results - how is that faithful?
He emerges once more to take up the arduous task of rebuilding vocabulary banks, seeking direction and inspiration, and plotting a course with one destination and goal. The statement has been formed and presented in its purest form: "I will present to you a captivating tale of grandeur and original prose, set to outshine any works to date by collaborating all functions as an innovative, goal-oriented, Spirit-filled writer."
The revised edition is yet to come.
-Timotheos
I picked up volume ten of the WoT a few months back - and despite the fact that it'd been years since I'd begun the series I thought I could dive in and pick up where I'd left off. However, not only did I have no idea what was going on or who was whom, but I found that I couldn't even bring myself to finish the book! Since I've only been reading books whilst at work, on my breaks, it stands to reason that getting through a lengthy read takes more than one library issue period.
I'd like to actually start the entire series over again but it will have to wait until I'm back into the flow of things and can devote myself to more than 45 mins of reading time a day. Even if I could concentrate properly in my work environment, that's still only ~45 pages per day, which makes reading any substantial novel quite a time consuming effort. I will strive to get in more reading time but it is something I will have to ease myself into once more. I'm not the reader, nor the writer, that I used to be, unfortunately. But I will publish a novel one day - of that I am certain!
I finished reading Frank Herbert's Dune for the first time yesterday. That in itself took me a couple of weeks at least. I really have not read at home anything but online stuff, quest information and manga, since I started playing WoW a year ago. Now, since quitting, I've found that all the spare time I've been granted really hasn't changed me much at all - I am not using my time as wisely, nor as effectively, as I could be.
But things are apt to change. As I move into this new season - with my sights on Japan and the call in my spirit to take up such a challenge as going to a pagan country where I am presented with all manner of physical, emotional and spiritual barriers - I will take up those things of the past that were good; and will leave those things that were not so good.
Magician. Raymond E. Feist's first Riftwar novel. A series that spawned other series' and basically set in stone the author's career as a professional novelist. In fact, I would like to complete my entire collection of novels that are related back to Midkemia in some way. I have some of the second-most recent series but he seems to keep writing more and so it is hard to keep up. Besides, I have forgotten a lot of the content of these novels, so it is a bit nostalgic almost to go back and read them over from the start. To recall the adventures is just like the revised edition of Magician itself. Revisiting old fictional characters whose lives you remember, though not in too great a detail; recalling events as you read about them and filling in the gaps that occur over time as you drift ever further from that point of building such a world as was created by such a gifted writer.
/tingle
I really must begin my own pursuit of releasing a published work. Short stories seem to go over well to kick some people off from being a casual writer to a professional author. But that's far too small for my ambition. If I were as dedicated to writing as I was to playing my hunter and mage over the past year, I would surely have a bestseller on my hands even now XD
Holy Spirit guides me and allows me to exercise my gift. Giving God the glory always - always - results in blessing. And so, my gifts cannot be utilised for anything but glorifying Him who breathed life into my very being. I seek not to stand apart and have people recognise my name as that of a bestselling author (though the thought of making a living doing what I love to do does have an appeal...). I only want to fulfil my destiny - and since we do choose our destiny and God is willing to bless us immensely if we are but faithful to Him; well, how can I decline an offer to simply put into practise what he has crafted me for?
The basic premise here is that I have not only made a decision to truly try and get to Japan to teach - and to spread the good news that there is a Saviour who cares for such a perverted and messed up culture - but that it is time I picked up my calling and began to act as mature as I should now be - in all regards. To have put my destiny on hold was perhaps a necessary part of the "desert experience" but to come out of that and into a new season only to procrastinate and allow the days to slip by without results - how is that faithful?
He emerges once more to take up the arduous task of rebuilding vocabulary banks, seeking direction and inspiration, and plotting a course with one destination and goal. The statement has been formed and presented in its purest form: "I will present to you a captivating tale of grandeur and original prose, set to outshine any works to date by collaborating all functions as an innovative, goal-oriented, Spirit-filled writer."
The revised edition is yet to come.
-Timotheos
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Say: 'kim-chi' XD
I love nachos. It's a pity it costs so much for everything it takes to have good nachos. Still, nothing beats nachos, salsa, sour cream, mince and cheese ^L^
While I was making tea tonight, someone knocked on the door. I found a Korean lady standing there and she asked if we had a corkscrew bottle opener (no, we don't) - I determined that she was from Korea then greeted here (안영 하세요) and told her I speak a little Korean (나는 한국어를 조금 알하요). I don't think she was all the impressed with my mastery of the language. But... we try ^^
Turns out that three young Korean women have been living right next door (as in, their door is one metre away from ours) for the last month - well, there are three that live there now but apparently one of them moved in yesterday or something. The lady that came to our door is a friend who was just visiting. There was a fifth person - another friend - and she spoke the most English of them all.
How do I know all this? I went over after tea to find out a bit more and have a chat. Plus, hopefully I can score myself some 김치 (kim-chi). Ah, sometimes I miss Korean food - and my Korean friends.
So, it was a good way to spend my evening: talking to a couple of Korean people. I know that my own Korean speaking is very lacking. I need to practise reading a lot more as well, but it's my speaking and understanding of spoken language that is very poor. Perhaps this presents me with an opportunity to exchange languages. I know that the young ladies that live there need to work on their English and since I am such a master of this language I am more than willing to give them a hand - practice speaking, etc - and I'm sure they could take me through a little Korean.
I played Ninja Gaiden Black a lot tonight, too. The game, despite its difficulty, is just so darn fun. I reached chapter five and will probably play most nights this week. The boss fights are hard and take quite a few tries - simply because I have to figure out the best way to beat them. And this is on the easiest setting (normal)! Well, so long as I unlock all the content I can it'll be cool - not that it'll do me much good if I shoot overseas in May, since I'll be leaving my Xbox here, but ah well, we do what we can ^^
-Timotheos
While I was making tea tonight, someone knocked on the door. I found a Korean lady standing there and she asked if we had a corkscrew bottle opener (no, we don't) - I determined that she was from Korea then greeted here (안영 하세요) and told her I speak a little Korean (나는 한국어를 조금 알하요). I don't think she was all the impressed with my mastery of the language. But... we try ^^
Turns out that three young Korean women have been living right next door (as in, their door is one metre away from ours) for the last month - well, there are three that live there now but apparently one of them moved in yesterday or something. The lady that came to our door is a friend who was just visiting. There was a fifth person - another friend - and she spoke the most English of them all.
How do I know all this? I went over after tea to find out a bit more and have a chat. Plus, hopefully I can score myself some 김치 (kim-chi). Ah, sometimes I miss Korean food - and my Korean friends.
So, it was a good way to spend my evening: talking to a couple of Korean people. I know that my own Korean speaking is very lacking. I need to practise reading a lot more as well, but it's my speaking and understanding of spoken language that is very poor. Perhaps this presents me with an opportunity to exchange languages. I know that the young ladies that live there need to work on their English and since I am such a master of this language I am more than willing to give them a hand - practice speaking, etc - and I'm sure they could take me through a little Korean.
I played Ninja Gaiden Black a lot tonight, too. The game, despite its difficulty, is just so darn fun. I reached chapter five and will probably play most nights this week. The boss fights are hard and take quite a few tries - simply because I have to figure out the best way to beat them. And this is on the easiest setting (normal)! Well, so long as I unlock all the content I can it'll be cool - not that it'll do me much good if I shoot overseas in May, since I'll be leaving my Xbox here, but ah well, we do what we can ^^
-Timotheos
Monday, March 20, 2006
Mondaaaay!
I was really tired today. To make matters worse, now I have a splitting headache and I really don't feel like writing anything. Couple that with the fact that nothing of interest is coming to mind, and I foresee a lot of white space.
Here's something I wrote a long time ago (18 Sep 2004, according to the creation date of the text file) - it may seem a little... dogmatic - and my views may not be quite so stubborn now - but it was an interesting time and so makes for an interesting read. Enjoy. Or shake your head in disbelief. Whatever you feel is the best reaction XD
"If two people of the opposite sex form a mutual relationship with each other without the express intent to commit to a life-long marriage covenant, it's wrong. Not just from a theological point of view, but there are many natural reasons why this can be detrimental both to your self: to your soul, your psyche and your sensitivity; and to your future, marriage-bound commitment.
"Too many young people today, even in the Christian church, get into relationships with members of the opposite sex at an inappropriate age or time in their lives. Such decisions to "hook up" reflect a lack of patience, self control and trust in God for the best plans for their life. Short term fulfillment is not real contentment and cannot be spiritually healthy. God's timing is just and provides us the opportunity to develop fruit in our lives. If we jump the gun and make flesh-driven decisions then how can God truly have free reign to honour our commitment to him? The enemy has a firm hold on instant gratification -- why should our young people dance to his tune? It's the same counterfeit principle that's been used since the mouth-watering fruit on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was snatched up and consumed at the dawn of history.
"STI's and pregnancy are perhaps the two most influencing factors that disuade people from sexual relations, but these fears are only on a physical level -- that aside, the most intimate soul-binding act of sexual intercourse is not the only thing that pre-marital persons should be avoiding. There are also emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and willful problems that many people, even those raised in a spiritually healthy environment, fail to take into account when regarding dating and forming one-on-one relationships with a member of the opposite sex. Cross-gender relationships are both important and healthy, but devotion to a single person without the maturity or intent to make a life-long commitment to _is_ dangerous; in all of these areas, not just from a physical perspective.
"There is a far too relaxed view on moral behaviour with regard to sex in our society. That the youth within the Christian church are so easily beguiled and influenced by "what everyone does" and what is acceptable in the immoral eyes of wordly youth, just doesn't make sense -- especially from a Christian witness point of view. It's about time born-again teenagers in our nation began living with an eternal goal in mind: living in righteousness and purity with utmost respect for each other and without the physically inherent urge to form exclusive heterogender relationships. There needs to be a realisation of the importance of God-ordained marriage and how immature relationship decisions can dramatically affect this. Experimentation of the unknown can be important in forming conclusions, but personal experience is not necessary when the dangers and lasting effects are already expressed so clearly.
"Putting ourselves into tempting positions is tempting the tempter himself. Satan will take any opportunity he can slip his fingers into to make us slip up. When we give the forces of darkness a foothold in an area of our lives that is so deep and binding as sexual relationships, we are not living according to Scripture -- according to wisdom -- according to the optimum fulfillment that God would lead us into."
When you lead such a boring life as mine, it's not surprising when nothing at all happens in your day that is worth mentioning. It went: work, tea, xbox. Yay. I did have trouble on the third stage boss on Ninja Gaiden Black, though. He took me a few tries. I just slashed the crap out of him at the end. Screw the "strategy".
And thus ends the beginning of yet another week. /sigh
-Timotheos
Here's something I wrote a long time ago (18 Sep 2004, according to the creation date of the text file) - it may seem a little... dogmatic - and my views may not be quite so stubborn now - but it was an interesting time and so makes for an interesting read. Enjoy. Or shake your head in disbelief. Whatever you feel is the best reaction XD
"If two people of the opposite sex form a mutual relationship with each other without the express intent to commit to a life-long marriage covenant, it's wrong. Not just from a theological point of view, but there are many natural reasons why this can be detrimental both to your self: to your soul, your psyche and your sensitivity; and to your future, marriage-bound commitment.
"Too many young people today, even in the Christian church, get into relationships with members of the opposite sex at an inappropriate age or time in their lives. Such decisions to "hook up" reflect a lack of patience, self control and trust in God for the best plans for their life. Short term fulfillment is not real contentment and cannot be spiritually healthy. God's timing is just and provides us the opportunity to develop fruit in our lives. If we jump the gun and make flesh-driven decisions then how can God truly have free reign to honour our commitment to him? The enemy has a firm hold on instant gratification -- why should our young people dance to his tune? It's the same counterfeit principle that's been used since the mouth-watering fruit on the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was snatched up and consumed at the dawn of history.
"STI's and pregnancy are perhaps the two most influencing factors that disuade people from sexual relations, but these fears are only on a physical level -- that aside, the most intimate soul-binding act of sexual intercourse is not the only thing that pre-marital persons should be avoiding. There are also emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and willful problems that many people, even those raised in a spiritually healthy environment, fail to take into account when regarding dating and forming one-on-one relationships with a member of the opposite sex. Cross-gender relationships are both important and healthy, but devotion to a single person without the maturity or intent to make a life-long commitment to _is_ dangerous; in all of these areas, not just from a physical perspective.
"There is a far too relaxed view on moral behaviour with regard to sex in our society. That the youth within the Christian church are so easily beguiled and influenced by "what everyone does" and what is acceptable in the immoral eyes of wordly youth, just doesn't make sense -- especially from a Christian witness point of view. It's about time born-again teenagers in our nation began living with an eternal goal in mind: living in righteousness and purity with utmost respect for each other and without the physically inherent urge to form exclusive heterogender relationships. There needs to be a realisation of the importance of God-ordained marriage and how immature relationship decisions can dramatically affect this. Experimentation of the unknown can be important in forming conclusions, but personal experience is not necessary when the dangers and lasting effects are already expressed so clearly.
"Putting ourselves into tempting positions is tempting the tempter himself. Satan will take any opportunity he can slip his fingers into to make us slip up. When we give the forces of darkness a foothold in an area of our lives that is so deep and binding as sexual relationships, we are not living according to Scripture -- according to wisdom -- according to the optimum fulfillment that God would lead us into."
When you lead such a boring life as mine, it's not surprising when nothing at all happens in your day that is worth mentioning. It went: work, tea, xbox. Yay. I did have trouble on the third stage boss on Ninja Gaiden Black, though. He took me a few tries. I just slashed the crap out of him at the end. Screw the "strategy".
And thus ends the beginning of yet another week. /sigh
-Timotheos
Sunday, March 19, 2006
A Wyrm a Day
Yesterday, one of the things I did was to initiate an auction at Trademe. It's a New Zealand auction site. Actually, the founder and creator recently sold the company for NZ$700M. That's just a bit of money ^0^ Wouldn't it be cool to start something innovative, build it up for five years, then sell it so some international company for half a billion dollars? Wow. I wouldn't know what to do with more than a few thousand dollars actually. Maybe that's why I'm only living comfortably and not extravagantly.
What I'm actually selling is my entire dragon collection. This unique, hand-painted collection, boasts twelve magnificent mastadons of myth. Crafted in detail by acclaimed artist Michael Whelan, each finely sculpted dragon expresses its own poignant nature. From Dragondoom to Dragon Wish, now is your chance to acquire the complete set. A full array of pictures can be found here: http://lokhor.orcon.net.nz/Trademe/dragons.html.
I'm hoping that in selling my dragons and Egyptian sculptures, that I'll be able to afford both a decent laptop and my airfare to Japan. Of course, I have yet to seriously look for a job over there but I am definitely going!
Since I wrote a Blog entry this morning, there's really no point in just filling this up with random text. I'm only trying to stick to my one Blog a day commitment. It's like writing in my diaries - every so often I'll miss a day then fill in that entry the next day. At least my memory isn't so far gone that I can't remember 36 hours in the past XD
Japan needs honto Kami-sama (the real God) - or is that: Kami-sama no honto desu? ^L^
Until tomorrow's entry (not expected to be exciting at all), this is good night from Lower Hutt, New Zealand.
-Timotheos
What I'm actually selling is my entire dragon collection. This unique, hand-painted collection, boasts twelve magnificent mastadons of myth. Crafted in detail by acclaimed artist Michael Whelan, each finely sculpted dragon expresses its own poignant nature. From Dragondoom to Dragon Wish, now is your chance to acquire the complete set. A full array of pictures can be found here: http://lokhor.orcon.net.nz/Trademe/dragons.html.
I'm hoping that in selling my dragons and Egyptian sculptures, that I'll be able to afford both a decent laptop and my airfare to Japan. Of course, I have yet to seriously look for a job over there but I am definitely going!
Since I wrote a Blog entry this morning, there's really no point in just filling this up with random text. I'm only trying to stick to my one Blog a day commitment. It's like writing in my diaries - every so often I'll miss a day then fill in that entry the next day. At least my memory isn't so far gone that I can't remember 36 hours in the past XD
Japan needs honto Kami-sama (the real God) - or is that: Kami-sama no honto desu? ^L^
Until tomorrow's entry (not expected to be exciting at all), this is good night from Lower Hutt, New Zealand.
-Timotheos
In review
There are two reasons that I didn't submit an entry last night. 1) Massive headache (incidentally, I still have a mild one this morning); 2) New Zealand Internet (I'm capped - 'nuff said). Actually, I'm not sure what was causing the absurdly slow speed - it was so bad that I couldn't load the page to even try to submit something here. GG Telecom :s
I'm actually not surprised that I had a headache yesterday. I watched two movies and spent a lot of the day either online or on my Xbox. Actually, it was the first time I'd played on my Xbox in ages. I spent ages trying to figure out how to copy a game straight to the HDD through the network but ended up just burning Ninja Gaiden: Black to dvd and then ripping it off that. It really cuts down on load times XD
So, Ninja Gaiden: Black. Not as hard as I thought it would be, though the first boss did take me two attempts. Once you get used to the control scheme you're running along walls, across water and leaping off enemies' backs to do blue-streaked downward striking power moves. The motion is fluid; you just have to realise that if you do the end of a combo or just randomly press attack, there are slight pauses between when you finish that attack and being able to change direction. It's a good thing the enemy shinobi' defenses aren't impermeable.
As for the camera angles, this is something to be desired. Sure, the right trigger centers the camera, but there are times when this gets awkward. Using the right thumbstick comes in handy, though, as this puts you into first-person view and allows you to better see your surroundings before proceeding - especially useful if you are unsure about what's immediately below or above you.
I really don't play games much but this Ninja Gaiden sequel is cool and since I do have a lot more free time now I may just whip out my nindo and carve up some bad guys. I mean, who doesn't enjoy running up walls, backflipping and coming down with an overpowered strike?
Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance. Having clocked the sequel (Dark Alliance II) on the PS2, I wasn't sure what to expect. The cutscenes are still just as unnatural and jerky but the gameplay is very similar in terms of the control scheme, inventory setup and even the world in which you play (Baldur's Gate is Baldur's Gate). And of course the first mission is clearing some rats in the cellar before you head to the obligatory sewer section.
Despite not having played DAII for so long, the gameplay mechanics came back to me pretty easily. Xbox is a little different to PS2 but all-in-all I enjoyed what time I spent playing, especially since I didn't have to struggle with any part of the controls - well, save block, which is in an awkward place for quick reacting. Guess I won't be blocking in a hurry...
I wonder if the character loading exploits work - I'll just have to get a second controller and find out ^L^
The two movies I watched yesterday were 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' (bit strange but it made sense) and 'Lord of War' (very distrurbing, especially since it was based on actual everyday events). I'm not going to review these because I'm running out of time before heading to church.
Daylight Savings is over - set my watch back an hour last night (everything else automatically updates), so everyone got an extra hour's sleep. Except Nick. He left his phone alarm set without realising that until the network is reset, the clock doesn't update. Yet another of Telecom's brilliant schemes. I heard him get up really early but tried to ignore it. Perhaps staying in bed half-awake for so long really didn't help get rid of this headache...
Off to church soon. This may well be the first time I write two entries in the same day. We'll see. Just pretend this was posted last night :)
-Timotheos
I'm actually not surprised that I had a headache yesterday. I watched two movies and spent a lot of the day either online or on my Xbox. Actually, it was the first time I'd played on my Xbox in ages. I spent ages trying to figure out how to copy a game straight to the HDD through the network but ended up just burning Ninja Gaiden: Black to dvd and then ripping it off that. It really cuts down on load times XD
So, Ninja Gaiden: Black. Not as hard as I thought it would be, though the first boss did take me two attempts. Once you get used to the control scheme you're running along walls, across water and leaping off enemies' backs to do blue-streaked downward striking power moves. The motion is fluid; you just have to realise that if you do the end of a combo or just randomly press attack, there are slight pauses between when you finish that attack and being able to change direction. It's a good thing the enemy shinobi' defenses aren't impermeable.
As for the camera angles, this is something to be desired. Sure, the right trigger centers the camera, but there are times when this gets awkward. Using the right thumbstick comes in handy, though, as this puts you into first-person view and allows you to better see your surroundings before proceeding - especially useful if you are unsure about what's immediately below or above you.
I really don't play games much but this Ninja Gaiden sequel is cool and since I do have a lot more free time now I may just whip out my nindo and carve up some bad guys. I mean, who doesn't enjoy running up walls, backflipping and coming down with an overpowered strike?
Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance. Having clocked the sequel (Dark Alliance II) on the PS2, I wasn't sure what to expect. The cutscenes are still just as unnatural and jerky but the gameplay is very similar in terms of the control scheme, inventory setup and even the world in which you play (Baldur's Gate is Baldur's Gate). And of course the first mission is clearing some rats in the cellar before you head to the obligatory sewer section.
Despite not having played DAII for so long, the gameplay mechanics came back to me pretty easily. Xbox is a little different to PS2 but all-in-all I enjoyed what time I spent playing, especially since I didn't have to struggle with any part of the controls - well, save block, which is in an awkward place for quick reacting. Guess I won't be blocking in a hurry...
I wonder if the character loading exploits work - I'll just have to get a second controller and find out ^L^
The two movies I watched yesterday were 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' (bit strange but it made sense) and 'Lord of War' (very distrurbing, especially since it was based on actual everyday events). I'm not going to review these because I'm running out of time before heading to church.
Daylight Savings is over - set my watch back an hour last night (everything else automatically updates), so everyone got an extra hour's sleep. Except Nick. He left his phone alarm set without realising that until the network is reset, the clock doesn't update. Yet another of Telecom's brilliant schemes. I heard him get up really early but tried to ignore it. Perhaps staying in bed half-awake for so long really didn't help get rid of this headache...
Off to church soon. This may well be the first time I write two entries in the same day. We'll see. Just pretend this was posted last night :)
-Timotheos
Friday, March 17, 2006
Walker: Total Norris
Today was an interesting day at work. Everything was tidier than ever (due to the huge cleanup over the last day or so) and it was our store manager's second to last day - so those of us that work Mon-Fri had our last shift with him. Apparently tomorrow night there are going to be some drinks at closing time so I will go simply to show that I can be sociable - and I guess to show my appreciation for his store managerness. Or something.
My fingers are really sore. Not sure what is causing it but it makes typing quite hard. They only seem to have got worse over these past few days. Maybe it's some new sort of disease. Whatever it is, it's very painful and I hope that it disappears as soon as possible.
So... time for some Chuck Norris facts!
"Chuck Norris makes beef jerky by roundhouse kicking cows so hard that moisture leaves their bodies."
"Hurricane Katrina was just Chuck Norris sparring with Thor. Chuck won."
"Chuck Norris has not killed more people than heart attacks yet, but that's only because heart attacks don't do charity work on the side."
"Chuck Norris does not have to mow his lawn. He simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow."
"Chuck Norris can no longer see himself in the mirror because the first time he did, he killed his own reflection."
And one more...
"Chuck Norris has two speeds: kill and kill more."
I tried getting hold of some hiragana lessons to practise writing it but it takes a lot of boring repetition to do something like that. I need to find a more memorable and exciting way to learn to read and write Japanese. Maybe that game that Nick found once...? There was this Japanese RPG (pretty lame, but meh) and it taught you hiragana and katakana. Pity it didn't sink in. I guess you have to keep plugging at it and study daily or something. I found 한글 (Korean) pretty straight forward to learn to read and write, but maybe that's because there are only 24 characters to remember. Japanese is too overwhelming /sigh
Onto the weekend!
-Timotheos
My fingers are really sore. Not sure what is causing it but it makes typing quite hard. They only seem to have got worse over these past few days. Maybe it's some new sort of disease. Whatever it is, it's very painful and I hope that it disappears as soon as possible.
So... time for some Chuck Norris facts!
"Chuck Norris makes beef jerky by roundhouse kicking cows so hard that moisture leaves their bodies."
"Hurricane Katrina was just Chuck Norris sparring with Thor. Chuck won."
"Chuck Norris has not killed more people than heart attacks yet, but that's only because heart attacks don't do charity work on the side."
"Chuck Norris does not have to mow his lawn. He simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow."
"Chuck Norris can no longer see himself in the mirror because the first time he did, he killed his own reflection."
And one more...
"Chuck Norris has two speeds: kill and kill more."
I tried getting hold of some hiragana lessons to practise writing it but it takes a lot of boring repetition to do something like that. I need to find a more memorable and exciting way to learn to read and write Japanese. Maybe that game that Nick found once...? There was this Japanese RPG (pretty lame, but meh) and it taught you hiragana and katakana. Pity it didn't sink in. I guess you have to keep plugging at it and study daily or something. I found 한글 (Korean) pretty straight forward to learn to read and write, but maybe that's because there are only 24 characters to remember. Japanese is too overwhelming /sigh
Onto the weekend!
-Timotheos
Thursday, March 16, 2006
No one sleeps in Tokyo
I wrote this last night. Dunno, I was just thinking and decided to put down a few words:
You cannot hope to even contemplate all that God is. There is no explanation, limitation, description or dimension. We can only think of God as far as our thinking goes. Our perspective is limited by our understanding. Our thoughts cannot formulate an adequate image of God and therefore what we think we know of Him and about Him is limited, lacking and incomplete. We do not need to prove His existence because He cannot not exist. It is impossible for there not to be a being that goes beyond our reasoning, as our reasoning is limited by our mental capacity. God has no capacity but encompasses all things. To even entertain the thought that we exist without there having been an existence is an oxymoron. Ex nihilo nihilo.
Logic points towards a creator.
That's about as far as I got. Now I'm too tired to think of any carry-on from that. Perhaps one day I'll do a follow-up of sorts. I guess I was just flexing my apologetic muscles.
My birthday was more than two weeks ago. Nick never got me a present then (lazy guy) but he finally got around to it, having finished class early today. I got the first two volumes of Initial D (manga) by Shigeno Shuichi (surname first, Otaku impaired readers). Of course, these manga are purely in English, but at least they still read from the back to the front (right to left). Makes them feel that much more Japanese, despite the fact that the manga style will always be associated with Japan, no matter who draws (or translates) it.
I can think of four reasons why I would be much better off going to South Korea than to Japan: 1. It's highly Christian and there is an abundance of churches and other Christian support; 2. I can read and write Korean without a problem, and can even speak and understand a little - 나 는 한국어를 조금 알하요 ^^; 3. I have friends there; 4. I have been there before and am familiar with a number of customs and other things, such as public transport.
So, it would make sense for me to go to Korea, right? But Japan presents so much more of a challenge. I barely speak or understand any Japanese; I can't read the language (it looks impossible!); I am unfamiliar with a lot of what goes on there; I know that they are a perverted and completely spiritually bankrupt nation who need to be given the Truth. And that's the reason that I am being called there. The Japanese people need to experience God - I mean, it is much more beneficial through their own people, but so few have a working relationship with the Living God. This is a part of my mission. I need the teaching experience but I also need to begin to fulfil my destiny. This is a necessary part of my journey. God will provide ^L^
Work is pretty crazy right now. We have these big-wigs from Aussie coming through our store tomorrow so managers from all around Wellington were in today, ripping the store apart to reorganise everything. It's almost had a complete overhaul. My area never looked so shiny! To top it all off, I sold a laptop (with an extended warranty, w00t!) last thing. I don't mind finishing 20 mins late when I make more than an hour's wage of commission XD
Each painstaking day in retail that goes by, brings me ever closer to my goal...
-Timotheos
You cannot hope to even contemplate all that God is. There is no explanation, limitation, description or dimension. We can only think of God as far as our thinking goes. Our perspective is limited by our understanding. Our thoughts cannot formulate an adequate image of God and therefore what we think we know of Him and about Him is limited, lacking and incomplete. We do not need to prove His existence because He cannot not exist. It is impossible for there not to be a being that goes beyond our reasoning, as our reasoning is limited by our mental capacity. God has no capacity but encompasses all things. To even entertain the thought that we exist without there having been an existence is an oxymoron. Ex nihilo nihilo.
Logic points towards a creator.
That's about as far as I got. Now I'm too tired to think of any carry-on from that. Perhaps one day I'll do a follow-up of sorts. I guess I was just flexing my apologetic muscles.
My birthday was more than two weeks ago. Nick never got me a present then (lazy guy) but he finally got around to it, having finished class early today. I got the first two volumes of Initial D (manga) by Shigeno Shuichi (surname first, Otaku impaired readers). Of course, these manga are purely in English, but at least they still read from the back to the front (right to left). Makes them feel that much more Japanese, despite the fact that the manga style will always be associated with Japan, no matter who draws (or translates) it.
I can think of four reasons why I would be much better off going to South Korea than to Japan: 1. It's highly Christian and there is an abundance of churches and other Christian support; 2. I can read and write Korean without a problem, and can even speak and understand a little - 나 는 한국어를 조금 알하요 ^^; 3. I have friends there; 4. I have been there before and am familiar with a number of customs and other things, such as public transport.
So, it would make sense for me to go to Korea, right? But Japan presents so much more of a challenge. I barely speak or understand any Japanese; I can't read the language (it looks impossible!); I am unfamiliar with a lot of what goes on there; I know that they are a perverted and completely spiritually bankrupt nation who need to be given the Truth. And that's the reason that I am being called there. The Japanese people need to experience God - I mean, it is much more beneficial through their own people, but so few have a working relationship with the Living God. This is a part of my mission. I need the teaching experience but I also need to begin to fulfil my destiny. This is a necessary part of my journey. God will provide ^L^
Work is pretty crazy right now. We have these big-wigs from Aussie coming through our store tomorrow so managers from all around Wellington were in today, ripping the store apart to reorganise everything. It's almost had a complete overhaul. My area never looked so shiny! To top it all off, I sold a laptop (with an extended warranty, w00t!) last thing. I don't mind finishing 20 mins late when I make more than an hour's wage of commission XD
Each painstaking day in retail that goes by, brings me ever closer to my goal...
-Timotheos
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
A bit loopy
I wonder what Telescum is paying David Cunliffe (our telecommunications minister) in order for him to withhold his plea to request - nay, demand - local loop unbundling. For anyone that may read this in future, basically, New Zealand is ranked 23rd of OECD countries when it comes to telecommunications. I talk to international customers from time to time where I work and frequently I've heard our so-called broadband referred to as "third world" and that our country is "five or six years behind the rest of the world".
As a technofreek, no wonder I have this urge to go overseas - escaping the drudgery that is pseudo-highspeed internet. I've felt like tearing my hair out at times due to the ignorance of so many people in this country - and especially at the greed and ignorance of our government when it comes to unbundling the local loops. All they have to do is tell that multi-billion dollar giant "no!", and give a fair chance to other companies. Competition is needed, not thousands of Kiwis crying out for change and absolutely no progress being made.
I wrote a letter to Hon. Minister Cunliffe this morning. I basically copied what the Ihug website suggested as an email to our current telecommunications minister. Apparently there is some sort of referendum in June - but we already know the outcome. Oh, what a pity I won't be here to see Telecom pull the wool over our nation's eyes again. I'll be enjoying 30mb/s speeds with the rest of the civilised world.
I don't have a copy of the letter that was addressed to our benevolent government representative (har-har) but it basically went along the lines of how we as New Zealanders are sick of Telecom's pwnage and downright dishonesty and in holding us back in the 20th century for the sake of control and, no doubt, of money - after all, when you control the phone lines, you control the Internet. It's called a monopoly. I'm sick of passing Go... :(
Here are some comments from a few other disgruntled Kiwis, all of whom are as sick of this fiasco as I am:
"In a supposedly free market economy how can the Govt. possibly justify supporting a virtual monopoly that acts like one and exploits and represses the market accordingly. They talk about a "knowledge economy" and yet refuse to act on it's single biggest impediment. I regard this as a voting issue."
"The new 'faster' offering from Telecom - "to avoid the rush sign up to Xtra Broadband now!" - this is an insult to our intelligence and a slap in the face to all New Zealanders ; it's embarrassing having to explain what a 'data cap' is to friends overseas, not to mention the pathetic speeds we are forced to accept."
"One can get very good at solitaire while waiting for something to download."
"I get abused every week about how crap NZ Broadband is in regards towards Telecom. Ironically, I'm a contractor to Telecom and hear from a lot of our customers, most of whom have simply bought the service because it's all they could get... a whole lot of nothing!"
"If the government doesn't do something soon to remedy this situation then people will think that they have a vested interest in keeping Telecom in sole control of broadband. Maybe some members of the government are being financially rewarded for their lack of effort on our behalf?"
"It is unbelievable that there is even a debate on the issue of faster broadband. This is a 'no brainer.' The lack of action by the government is incomprehensible; it would suggest they are more concerned with protecting offshore investors interests than they are in providing an environment where N.Z. companies can compete internationally on a level playing field. Surely this can not be case?"
Unfortunately for us, this is the case - this is our reality. We have our hands tied behind our backs and no amount of yelling and screaming has brought - or, it seems, will ever bring - the knife to cut the cords. Our slow-speed broadband Internet is pathetic. It is overpriced and underpowered and shows just how little our government cares about the good of the people. Recommendation: don't come to our country until Telescum either relents and repents or has been burned to the ground by a mob of angry Kiwis who reached the end of their cyber-loving wick.
I wonder how long it will take for this entry to post on my super-highspeed 2megabitpersecond connection :s And oh, this current "highspeed" Internet was only implemented in the last year or so. We were lucky to have 256mbit/s connections prior to two years ago, outside of cable connections (of which there have always been download caps - exceeding the pathetically small download limit wasn't - and isn't - worth the cost; literally).
Now I can go to bed happy :P
-Timotheos
As a technofreek, no wonder I have this urge to go overseas - escaping the drudgery that is pseudo-highspeed internet. I've felt like tearing my hair out at times due to the ignorance of so many people in this country - and especially at the greed and ignorance of our government when it comes to unbundling the local loops. All they have to do is tell that multi-billion dollar giant "no!", and give a fair chance to other companies. Competition is needed, not thousands of Kiwis crying out for change and absolutely no progress being made.
I wrote a letter to Hon. Minister Cunliffe this morning. I basically copied what the Ihug website suggested as an email to our current telecommunications minister. Apparently there is some sort of referendum in June - but we already know the outcome. Oh, what a pity I won't be here to see Telecom pull the wool over our nation's eyes again. I'll be enjoying 30mb/s speeds with the rest of the civilised world.
I don't have a copy of the letter that was addressed to our benevolent government representative (har-har) but it basically went along the lines of how we as New Zealanders are sick of Telecom's pwnage and downright dishonesty and in holding us back in the 20th century for the sake of control and, no doubt, of money - after all, when you control the phone lines, you control the Internet. It's called a monopoly. I'm sick of passing Go... :(
Here are some comments from a few other disgruntled Kiwis, all of whom are as sick of this fiasco as I am:
"In a supposedly free market economy how can the Govt. possibly justify supporting a virtual monopoly that acts like one and exploits and represses the market accordingly. They talk about a "knowledge economy" and yet refuse to act on it's single biggest impediment. I regard this as a voting issue."
"The new 'faster' offering from Telecom - "to avoid the rush sign up to Xtra Broadband now!" - this is an insult to our intelligence and a slap in the face to all New Zealanders ; it's embarrassing having to explain what a 'data cap' is to friends overseas, not to mention the pathetic speeds we are forced to accept."
"One can get very good at solitaire while waiting for something to download."
"I get abused every week about how crap NZ Broadband is in regards towards Telecom. Ironically, I'm a contractor to Telecom and hear from a lot of our customers, most of whom have simply bought the service because it's all they could get... a whole lot of nothing!"
"If the government doesn't do something soon to remedy this situation then people will think that they have a vested interest in keeping Telecom in sole control of broadband. Maybe some members of the government are being financially rewarded for their lack of effort on our behalf?"
"It is unbelievable that there is even a debate on the issue of faster broadband. This is a 'no brainer.' The lack of action by the government is incomprehensible; it would suggest they are more concerned with protecting offshore investors interests than they are in providing an environment where N.Z. companies can compete internationally on a level playing field. Surely this can not be case?"
Unfortunately for us, this is the case - this is our reality. We have our hands tied behind our backs and no amount of yelling and screaming has brought - or, it seems, will ever bring - the knife to cut the cords. Our slow-speed broadband Internet is pathetic. It is overpriced and underpowered and shows just how little our government cares about the good of the people. Recommendation: don't come to our country until Telescum either relents and repents or has been burned to the ground by a mob of angry Kiwis who reached the end of their cyber-loving wick.
I wonder how long it will take for this entry to post on my super-highspeed 2megabitpersecond connection :s And oh, this current "highspeed" Internet was only implemented in the last year or so. We were lucky to have 256mbit/s connections prior to two years ago, outside of cable connections (of which there have always been download caps - exceeding the pathetically small download limit wasn't - and isn't - worth the cost; literally).
Now I can go to bed happy :P
-Timotheos
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
When I say jump...
I guess I have to keep up the pretense of actually wanting to make a daily entry. Well, since this is a weekday, there really isn't much that comes to mind at this time that would make for an interesting read.
Actually, I was listening to the radio this morning - I guess it can't be helped when it's playing first thing in the morning and there are no customers... Anyway, I heard them mention height comparisons and how some well known people (celebrities, mostly) were either shorter or taller than they appeared. So I looked it up. It's interesting to note which people are (or were) close to my height - especially historical figures. For example, Benjamin Franklin was a mere 2cm taller than me. It's a pity that Albert Einstein wasn't listed...
Then there are some actors - such as Eddie Murphy. He's also 2cm taller than me. There were quite a few people that I wanted to compare myself with (whoopee, height!) but they just weren't listed. I have a feeling that a lot of websites cater for the "older" generation. Y'know, people who are 40+. But we - we are the up-and-coming adult generation and things are different now. All those people who were middle-aged last century are now old fogeys and my generation has a much more recent past.
It's amazing how much influence the past has had on people, too. When I was a teenager, I often heard kids saying stuff that their parents must have picked up from their parents - and it was passed down, unfiltered. These kids had no idea how anachronistic some of what they spouted was. I expect to see changes - in patterns of speech, especially, as that is perhaps the fastest evolving entity in western culture. Why, for instance, are screen sizes still quoted in inches? The only people that use such measurements are the Americans. Most tv's (most electronic devices) are made in China... I'm sure they've adopted the metric system. They that rule the world are perhaps the last of this backward generation who hold onto the remnant of their familiarity with whitened knuckles. But I hope that by the time I'm in my 30's and 40's, we won't see the need to hang onto anything from last century. Get with the times!
Inches are obsolete. But not just that, there are some clichés and idioms that have just managed to stick around - and when children use them, it just goes to show how influential the older generation still is - and how naive and easily influenced so much of our society is. It's like they have been conditioned by their parents to say things that have no relevance whatsoever. I mean, I'm not innocent of this myself, completely, but then, I grew up in the 1980's (and 90's...), and I guess some things from my childhood and teenage years will just never be got rid of. But there are some expressions that should just die, already!
It's funny when you talk to Asian people who have received their view of western culture through filters - actually, I'm sure that's the only view that a lot of them have. It's not like they experience western life themselves, unless they come to an English-speaking country. Hopefully it's not New Zealand - I heard that some of our expressions are old-hat; after all, it's not surprising, considering how far behind we are technologically. It's so frustrating to know this and yet to know that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it because your government was too stubborn to unbundle the fricking telecommunication loops! 2mb/s = teh slowxor.
Which is part of the reason that I need to get out of this joke of a country once more. I could go to Japan and buy a three-year-old cellphone and it would still be better than the 3G phones we have available now. Hrm, maybe I hyperbolised a little... but I saw stuff when I was in Korea three years ago that still isn't readily available here.
Now that I've got my CV all sorted, I can keep praying that the right job will spring up - and that I will secure enough funds to both get a decent laptop and to get over to Japan - my two main goals right now ^L^
Every day that goes by is one less day that I have to sell stuff. My life of retail is almost over - and there will be no going back for this Kiwi boy!
-Timotheos
ps. Jean-Claude van Damme is only 2cm taller than me too ^o^
Actually, I was listening to the radio this morning - I guess it can't be helped when it's playing first thing in the morning and there are no customers... Anyway, I heard them mention height comparisons and how some well known people (celebrities, mostly) were either shorter or taller than they appeared. So I looked it up. It's interesting to note which people are (or were) close to my height - especially historical figures. For example, Benjamin Franklin was a mere 2cm taller than me. It's a pity that Albert Einstein wasn't listed...
Then there are some actors - such as Eddie Murphy. He's also 2cm taller than me. There were quite a few people that I wanted to compare myself with (whoopee, height!) but they just weren't listed. I have a feeling that a lot of websites cater for the "older" generation. Y'know, people who are 40+. But we - we are the up-and-coming adult generation and things are different now. All those people who were middle-aged last century are now old fogeys and my generation has a much more recent past.
It's amazing how much influence the past has had on people, too. When I was a teenager, I often heard kids saying stuff that their parents must have picked up from their parents - and it was passed down, unfiltered. These kids had no idea how anachronistic some of what they spouted was. I expect to see changes - in patterns of speech, especially, as that is perhaps the fastest evolving entity in western culture. Why, for instance, are screen sizes still quoted in inches? The only people that use such measurements are the Americans. Most tv's (most electronic devices) are made in China... I'm sure they've adopted the metric system. They that rule the world are perhaps the last of this backward generation who hold onto the remnant of their familiarity with whitened knuckles. But I hope that by the time I'm in my 30's and 40's, we won't see the need to hang onto anything from last century. Get with the times!
Inches are obsolete. But not just that, there are some clichés and idioms that have just managed to stick around - and when children use them, it just goes to show how influential the older generation still is - and how naive and easily influenced so much of our society is. It's like they have been conditioned by their parents to say things that have no relevance whatsoever. I mean, I'm not innocent of this myself, completely, but then, I grew up in the 1980's (and 90's...), and I guess some things from my childhood and teenage years will just never be got rid of. But there are some expressions that should just die, already!
It's funny when you talk to Asian people who have received their view of western culture through filters - actually, I'm sure that's the only view that a lot of them have. It's not like they experience western life themselves, unless they come to an English-speaking country. Hopefully it's not New Zealand - I heard that some of our expressions are old-hat; after all, it's not surprising, considering how far behind we are technologically. It's so frustrating to know this and yet to know that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it because your government was too stubborn to unbundle the fricking telecommunication loops! 2mb/s = teh slowxor.
Which is part of the reason that I need to get out of this joke of a country once more. I could go to Japan and buy a three-year-old cellphone and it would still be better than the 3G phones we have available now. Hrm, maybe I hyperbolised a little... but I saw stuff when I was in Korea three years ago that still isn't readily available here.
Now that I've got my CV all sorted, I can keep praying that the right job will spring up - and that I will secure enough funds to both get a decent laptop and to get over to Japan - my two main goals right now ^L^
Every day that goes by is one less day that I have to sell stuff. My life of retail is almost over - and there will be no going back for this Kiwi boy!
-Timotheos
ps. Jean-Claude van Damme is only 2cm taller than me too ^o^
Monday, March 13, 2006
Oh, snap!
I bought a camera today. Well, I put it on layby a few weeks ago and intended to pay it off over the full three months, one payday at a time; however, I figured that since all international job applications require a photo of the applicant, what better way than to snap one from my own camera? Plus, I could affix a new photo with every single application.
I'm going to be applying for as many English teaching jobs in Japan as I can this month. I have my heart and mind set on heading over there as soon as possible. I'd like to say goodbye to retail within the next two months, at most.
So... whilst I wait for my batteries to charge, I can only wonder why I would fork out $325 for a camera. Perhaps it was the size of it - and the fact that it's six megapixels and has a 2" screen; compact but not pencil-thin. I already took a snapshot that showed up ok, so as soon as I can repower the thing (the packaged batteries lasted all of five minutes, as was expected), I'll figure out how to transfer that picture to my pc. Yeah, it didn't recognise the camera when I plugged it in. Go, go, electronics whiz...
I fasted today. I just felt in my spirit that it would benefit me, especially since I will need everything to work pretty smoothly if I'm to heed the call and head out across the Pacific to some place amidst four small islands, where the inhabitants observe strange customs and speak a different tongue to my own native babble.
Ah, I love the English language. I don't know what people complain about - inconsistency? Meh, that's what learning is all about. I realise that a lot of English speakers struggle with their own language, but for a person such as myself, who has a passion for both the oral and written word, c'est ne probléme pas ;)
Once I am able - and I will be able - to speak another language of this diverse world, I will reflect on my native tongue and continue to marvel at the flexibility that makes it so wonderful to speak - and to write. I can express most anything at any time (given the time. Here's a secret: I prefer to write because it gives me more time to formulate my feelings and ponder the particulars XD). But who knows how one feels when one is bilingual...
*The pudding master decides that now would be a good time to finish this entry*
Yes, nothing exciting happens during the week. Those batteries are probably charged. It's playtime!
-Timotheos
I'm going to be applying for as many English teaching jobs in Japan as I can this month. I have my heart and mind set on heading over there as soon as possible. I'd like to say goodbye to retail within the next two months, at most.
So... whilst I wait for my batteries to charge, I can only wonder why I would fork out $325 for a camera. Perhaps it was the size of it - and the fact that it's six megapixels and has a 2" screen; compact but not pencil-thin. I already took a snapshot that showed up ok, so as soon as I can repower the thing (the packaged batteries lasted all of five minutes, as was expected), I'll figure out how to transfer that picture to my pc. Yeah, it didn't recognise the camera when I plugged it in. Go, go, electronics whiz...
I fasted today. I just felt in my spirit that it would benefit me, especially since I will need everything to work pretty smoothly if I'm to heed the call and head out across the Pacific to some place amidst four small islands, where the inhabitants observe strange customs and speak a different tongue to my own native babble.
Ah, I love the English language. I don't know what people complain about - inconsistency? Meh, that's what learning is all about. I realise that a lot of English speakers struggle with their own language, but for a person such as myself, who has a passion for both the oral and written word, c'est ne probléme pas ;)
Once I am able - and I will be able - to speak another language of this diverse world, I will reflect on my native tongue and continue to marvel at the flexibility that makes it so wonderful to speak - and to write. I can express most anything at any time (given the time. Here's a secret: I prefer to write because it gives me more time to formulate my feelings and ponder the particulars XD). But who knows how one feels when one is bilingual...
*The pudding master decides that now would be a good time to finish this entry*
Yes, nothing exciting happens during the week. Those batteries are probably charged. It's playtime!
-Timotheos
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Free at last
Having quit the game yesterday, I am now free to write what I like - in fact, I am now free to do just about anything I want. When something consumes you, it leaves you feeling quite empty because you just don't achieve what you'd like to achieve. So the burden is gone; I already feel somewhat lighter.
What has increased, though, is my longing to go overseas. Specifically, to the islands of Japan, where I intend to put my teaching training to good use. Besides, this has been one of my goals for quite some time. I just had to pay my credit card off (check!) and save a bit of money (almost there), not to mention the fact that I can't just get up and leave without tying up any loose ends.
As for church involvement, well, God does act fast. I intended to find ways to get involved but instead they found me - already. So it looks like I could be getting into the whole church network setup - learning more about it (since in 2004 when it was set up I was involved to an extent, working for the church at the time), how to maintain it, troubleshoot, etc.
However, since I am getting this burden - a calling: apprehensive and in anticipation of... something - to go over to Japan, the pull is getting stronger and stronger. It's both exciting and scary at the same time. I mean, I wanted God to answer my prayers regarding my future - especially the immediate: this year's direction - but knowing how slowly things fell into place every other time, I'm quite surprised (and, I suspect, not for the last time, either) that this whole life-thing is falling into place so fast.
Not that I have a ticket over to Japan and an established job - but there is a welling in my spirit of things beginning to move. And I know that I have been called over there, no matter how much a part of me dreads it. New cultures are hard to assimilate into - I've been there! And being out of touch with my teaching side, these are some skills that will take some practise getting back into. Let the real me - the new me - emerge once more ^L^
So yup, a new season - an unsettling in my whole being. An excitement and anticipation of what is to come. Either that or I'm not digesting my lunch properly... But really, I truly do see myself securing a position in a school (or two... or three...) somewhere in Japan. A lost society whose ways are beyond a westerner's understanding. But I am the one for this - only I can be me, and do what I can do. There will be a period of frustration, to be sure, but I know that I am going through a great period of spiritual growth right now. The desert is starting to fade!
There are still issues in my life that really do need sorting out. My health, for one. But it is a journey and it doesn't have to be taken alone. Speaking of which, every day that goes by brings me closer to being partnered with my future wife - a God-ordained and Christ-centred friendship to last until my dying days. As with many things in life, though, this is one thing that is still very clouded. There hasn't even been a hint yet, and until there is, all I can do is continue praying into both my life and hers. Ok, getting a little personal there XD I have to watch where my thoughts take me...
So much that I need to do and yet I can't really make much sense of anything that's going on right now. At least writing this is a first step - or a second step, really, if you consider my first step to have been breaking the bond of playing an MMO religiously. No matter where you tack, you will always be steered back on track - that's the way of the Holy Spirit. He's more than a counsellor; he's a guiding path that whispers more quietly than the conscious mind could ever decipher.
To flex my creative muscles, I feel that I should write something. A poem, perhaps. Something new, fresh. Everything that my soul churns out is new, but I have to challenge myself at this time. No better way than to leap straight in and get the creative juices flowing once more. Since I'm going to Japan (I am? Ok.), what's more fitting than a haiku ^^
Justice
I am not alone
Spurred on by a distant thought
Screaming to be heard
An angelic cry
Mortal, painted, a deal
Beyond reckoning
What better sanction
Than that which replaces woe
Aforethought denied
Plunging into depths
Broken, twisted, ideal
Never forgiven
The pain is too much
Morality? Ask again
If you care to look
Make a decision
Vacant, hollow, appeal
And when it is yours?
An absolute choice
Marred by tenuous consorts
Resulting in pleas
It belongs to us
Shadowed, prolonged, surreal
No man can match it
Give it, take it back
This picture of recklessness
Finally granted
It will always win
Honour, justice, my zeal
Carved from every wound
Eh, not my best work, and I sensed a lot of recycled language and emotion, but I feel somewhat more alive just from the pressure I put my brain through. I am still waking up from this bad dream but at least the way ahead is much lighter than what lies behind. I know that one thing I will continue to do is to put into words my aspirations, desires and happenings. That short story awaits; that novel awaits; the future can only get brighter.
-Timotheos
What has increased, though, is my longing to go overseas. Specifically, to the islands of Japan, where I intend to put my teaching training to good use. Besides, this has been one of my goals for quite some time. I just had to pay my credit card off (check!) and save a bit of money (almost there), not to mention the fact that I can't just get up and leave without tying up any loose ends.
As for church involvement, well, God does act fast. I intended to find ways to get involved but instead they found me - already. So it looks like I could be getting into the whole church network setup - learning more about it (since in 2004 when it was set up I was involved to an extent, working for the church at the time), how to maintain it, troubleshoot, etc.
However, since I am getting this burden - a calling: apprehensive and in anticipation of... something - to go over to Japan, the pull is getting stronger and stronger. It's both exciting and scary at the same time. I mean, I wanted God to answer my prayers regarding my future - especially the immediate: this year's direction - but knowing how slowly things fell into place every other time, I'm quite surprised (and, I suspect, not for the last time, either) that this whole life-thing is falling into place so fast.
Not that I have a ticket over to Japan and an established job - but there is a welling in my spirit of things beginning to move. And I know that I have been called over there, no matter how much a part of me dreads it. New cultures are hard to assimilate into - I've been there! And being out of touch with my teaching side, these are some skills that will take some practise getting back into. Let the real me - the new me - emerge once more ^L^
So yup, a new season - an unsettling in my whole being. An excitement and anticipation of what is to come. Either that or I'm not digesting my lunch properly... But really, I truly do see myself securing a position in a school (or two... or three...) somewhere in Japan. A lost society whose ways are beyond a westerner's understanding. But I am the one for this - only I can be me, and do what I can do. There will be a period of frustration, to be sure, but I know that I am going through a great period of spiritual growth right now. The desert is starting to fade!
There are still issues in my life that really do need sorting out. My health, for one. But it is a journey and it doesn't have to be taken alone. Speaking of which, every day that goes by brings me closer to being partnered with my future wife - a God-ordained and Christ-centred friendship to last until my dying days. As with many things in life, though, this is one thing that is still very clouded. There hasn't even been a hint yet, and until there is, all I can do is continue praying into both my life and hers. Ok, getting a little personal there XD I have to watch where my thoughts take me...
So much that I need to do and yet I can't really make much sense of anything that's going on right now. At least writing this is a first step - or a second step, really, if you consider my first step to have been breaking the bond of playing an MMO religiously. No matter where you tack, you will always be steered back on track - that's the way of the Holy Spirit. He's more than a counsellor; he's a guiding path that whispers more quietly than the conscious mind could ever decipher.
To flex my creative muscles, I feel that I should write something. A poem, perhaps. Something new, fresh. Everything that my soul churns out is new, but I have to challenge myself at this time. No better way than to leap straight in and get the creative juices flowing once more. Since I'm going to Japan (I am? Ok.), what's more fitting than a haiku ^^
Justice
I am not alone
Spurred on by a distant thought
Screaming to be heard
An angelic cry
Mortal, painted, a deal
Beyond reckoning
What better sanction
Than that which replaces woe
Aforethought denied
Plunging into depths
Broken, twisted, ideal
Never forgiven
The pain is too much
Morality? Ask again
If you care to look
Make a decision
Vacant, hollow, appeal
And when it is yours?
An absolute choice
Marred by tenuous consorts
Resulting in pleas
It belongs to us
Shadowed, prolonged, surreal
No man can match it
Give it, take it back
This picture of recklessness
Finally granted
It will always win
Honour, justice, my zeal
Carved from every wound
Eh, not my best work, and I sensed a lot of recycled language and emotion, but I feel somewhat more alive just from the pressure I put my brain through. I am still waking up from this bad dream but at least the way ahead is much lighter than what lies behind. I know that one thing I will continue to do is to put into words my aspirations, desires and happenings. That short story awaits; that novel awaits; the future can only get brighter.
-Timotheos
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